Subject:
Erectile Dysfunction and Finding a Mate?
I
am a 54 year old, single, diabetic male, that is
overweight (something that I'm working on). My diabetes
is under control, but I suffer from ED. I am very
conscious of it. I would like to find a mate to share
my life with, but I am fearful of the expectations
of anyone that I might meet in that department. I
was involved in a relationship recently where my "short
comings" (pardon the pun!) didn't make a difference
and we were able to have a wonderful sex life. Intercourse
was almost nil, be we compensated for it in other
ways. The only reason that we're not active today
is that she lives more than 150 miles away and neither
of us wants to relocate.
Sincerely,
ED
Dear
ED:
Thank
you very much for writing. I know that took a lot of
moxie! Erectile Dysfunction is not as comfortably discussed
as it should be. There is a tremendous stigma associated
with it. for that, I am truly sorry! in my opinion
it accomplishes nothing.
Sure,
you have to be up front about it. but as you date and
meet women or place personal ads, I think you want
to emphasize the other aspects of the type of relationship
you are looking for, including sexual.
IE:
Be candid without being self conscious. Be confident
without being fearful of what her (whoever she may
be) reaction is.
Dating
is never easy, but there are a ton of women who are
looking for a similar connection. It's a matter of
finding them. Place an ad, join a group and most important,
try not to see your ED as a shortcoming (love a good
pun) and focus on the positives.
Have
you spoken with your doctor about this? Are you 100%
certain what the cause of the ED is? you know without
a shadow of a doubt it's the medication from the diabetes?
If you're not sure, check it out with your doctor.
Keep that line of communication open.
Good
luck!
Love,
AF
*
* * * *
Subject:
Post Female Orgasm
Could
you please tell me if, immediately after sex, the
lady loses all of her desires like a man does?
Signed.
Curious
about female o's
Dear
Curious about Female O's:
Bubbie,
it really depends on the dame. The majority of dames
do not pass out like a lump of clay post orgasm. An
orgasm seems to be the perfect pick me up! Cruel joke?
Perhaps.
There
are women who are multi-orgasmic and they can keep
Cumming and Cumming. So, of course they are wide awake
and ready to keep playing with their man.
Is
there any particular reason you wanted to know this
dish? just curious.
Love,
AF
*
* * * *
Subject:
Hubby Said What?!
This
isn't really too odd, but...
I've
been married for 14 years, and my husband and I have
great sex. The other day, he started saying things
as he approached orgasm that he has never said before,
in a manner he has never used before. I may be overreacting,
but he has just never said these things before; it
was as though I was suddenly having sex with a stranger.
Before
it's always been moans and "Oh, god, baby," "you're
the best," stuff like that. This time he was rather
matter-of-fact, "Yup, that'll do it, yup, there it
is," like he had just successfully put a part on
his car.
I
know it's probably no big deal, but... it was definitely
a WTF moment, for me anyway.
Short
of giving up... do you have any suggestions? Any
idea what gives?
"Happy
orgasms to all y'all!"
Luv,
T
Dear
T:
OMG.
That is hysterical! Too funny!
While
it is a unique and out of character response, it does
happen. I remember once after my ex-boyfriend came,
he said, "thanks. I really appreciate your time on
that." I was so shocked! I said, "so, are you going
to leave money on the nightstand?"
If
it doesn't happen again, I would just chalk it up to
a post orgasmic brain fart. If it does happen again,
talk to him about it. bring it up in a funny way. I
suspect he's probably unaware he has even done it.
Keep
me looped!
Love,
Aspasia
Fern
*
* * * *
Subject:
Help! Premature Ejaculation
Hi!
I
have a problem with premature ejaculation. I have
tried all the techniques, such as, stop and start,
and nearing the point of release squeezing it so
it goes limp. I have tried clenching my pc muscle
etc, but all to no avail. It seems whenever I get
too aroused I climax too quickly. To make matters
worse I am only 5" erect. I have thought about penis
enlargement but have heard that this can stop me
from having erections. Is that true?
Please
help me! I'm losing the will to live,
EP
Dear
EP:
Please
don't go all passion-of-the-Christ on me!
Breathe.
Keep
breathing.
Ok.
here is what you're going to do, see your MD and get
a referral to an urologist to find out that everything
is working as it should be. You need to be 100% certain
this isn't a medical condition or that medication might
be causing the problem.
Once
you find out that you are in fact healthy as a horse,
you might learn that you're eligible for some type
of medication. Talk to your doctor and find out what
you can do to work on this homeopathically and medically.
Be proactive. It's your cock-health.
Keep
me looped, and hang in. this happens to so many men.
It's more common than you think.
Love,
AF
*
* * * *
Subject:
Love my Step-Daughter
Hello
Aspasia,
This
may be a long message and I apologize for it, but
please read my message, and give me an advice because
you are the only woman or person I can talk to about
this.
I've
been married since 2000. This is my 3rd marriage.
My wife is a beautiful and very sexy Russian woman.
My step-daughter (her daughter from a previous marriage)
was 14 when I married her mother. Now she is 20.
She has grown up to be a beautiful, gorgeous and
sexy woman with eyes and a body that can kill. I
am 51 now, attractive, sociable, fun to be with,
personable, charming, very friendly, good personality,
and still sexually on overdrive. I've got no problem
picking up pretty women at all. I've fallen in love
with her ever since I met her in Moscow but our relationship
had relatively been cold and dry. She never accepted
me as her father. We talked about it few times and
she never will accept me as her father. I've asked
her if she wants me to be her lover, or her boyfriend,
or just a friend but she never responds back, as
if I'm insignificant in her life.
She
knows very well that I'm in love with her and interested
in her sexually. I have been treating her like a
princess and always will because I love her. I give
her anything she wants and asks for and always will.
She does not communicate with me like she does with
everybody else. She never calls me by my name and
always treats me just like another guy. She never
told me "I love you", but to her college friends
and everybody else including my family she is wonderful,
warm, funny, witty, friendly and charming. She has
no problem saying "I love you" to her mother and
to her friends but with me she is cold and dry. I
really get jealous when college guys talk to her
and wanna take her out. I really love her and I want
her to be mine sexually and romantically. We don't
talk at all these days. I've tried to show her my
love many times, sent her e-mail messages expressing
to her my love, friendship, and passion and all her
responses were cold and brief. She can look into
my eyes and know that I'm in love with her. I constantly
think about her. I respect her tremendously for her
HS and college achievements. She is very intelligent
and talented. She is a heart-breaker and she knows
it.
Her
mother knows my deep desire and love for her but
somehow we managed to keep it in our hearts because
we love each other too much. We flirted innocently
together in the past. Sometimes I would give her
legs a message and sometimes it progresses to massaging
her ass cheeks, back, and shoulders. Sometimes she
would let me kiss her legs and ass cheeks and sometimes
she would adamantly refuse. Her relationship with
me is erotic and she dresses erotically and sits
seductively for me. She saw me numerous times masturbating
and she always looks at my crotch as I hers as if
we're looking and hungry for something. She used
to sit on my lap and crotch wearing her very skimpy
shorts to make me feel her ass cheeks and hot pussy.
On many occasions she watched me behind my back masturbating
with my cock rock hard on full display as if she
loves to look at my cock. I even took her hand 1
time and made her touch my cock while urging her
to masturbate me but she refused and ran away to
the bedroom.
I've
never seen her masturbating (but yet again what do
I know) and I know she is still a virgin. I don't
think she lets any of her college friends knock her
virginity out...yet!!. Some are trying very hard
to get into her pants but no success. She knows I'm
jealous of them or of any man for that matter, and
then she comes to me, hugging me to tell me they
are just simply friends.
I
really am a decent man, warm hearted, loving, and
passionate. You may think of me by now that I am
an incest pervert. I love her because in my heart
she is my princess and always will be. My heart aches
for her. I also love my wife too. But she never opened
her heart for me to tell me her feelings and/or her
thoughts. Sometimes I ask her to meet me privately
at starbucks to discuss things but she never does.
She only opens up for her
mother.
I begged her many times to open up for me and talk
to me as if I'm like one of her friends but with
no success. I can never figure her out. She is like
a closed book for me. Maybe I'm just plain stupid....I
don't know.
Do
you think she loves me at all. Do you think she likes
me at all. May be she really hates me and is waiting
till she graduates from college to leave us to be
on her own so she wouldn't have to deal with me anymore.
Maybe I have created a mess in her life and it's
all my fault why she's acting with me like she is,
or maybe I'm just imagining things.
What
do you think I should do??? Your advice is very well
appreciated and thank you so much for taking some
of your precious time for responding to me.
Sincerely,
Guy
in love with step-daughter
Dear
Guy in Love with Step Daughter:
Or
should I just call you, woody and your paramour Soon-Yi?
Honey,
listen to me and listen good. you are violating a boundary.
This is your step-daughter, and she is clearly not
interested in seeing this relationship become anything
more than a step-daughter / step-father relationship.
You have to accept this and you have to stop pursuing
her romantically. Not only is it grossly inappropriate,
it's unfair to her, and disrespectful to your wife.
I
realize that your feelings are quite real, and I hear
your frustration and angst about this. I really do.
But what you must realize immediately is that she is
your step-daughter. She is not a romantic conquest
nor should she be treated like one. you must exercise
restraint and boundaries. You must accept the relationship
as parent/child.
She
is not playing head games with you. She is not romantically
interested in pursuing you. She is clearly uncomfortable
with your advances and likely feels stuck in a situation
that she most certainly doesn't want to be in. Re-read
what you sent me, and you will see how upsetting this
must be for her.
I'm
not judging you, and I'm not trying to hurt you. I
understand how difficult this is for you. I really
do. I'm sure you are a lovely person. You're just a
lil' misguided at the minute.
Please
feel free to email me so we can talk about this further.
also, consider going to see a therapist to talk this
out so you can move on with your life, and learn how
to create boundaries and act appropriately.
Keep
me posted.
Aspasia
*
* * * *
Subject:
Wet Sex
Hi
Aspasia:
I
have been chatting with a lady online for quite a
while now. We live in different countries and hope
to get together some time soon .Our chats often take
on a sexual slant and it seems we share a common
fantasy. We both wonder what it would be like to
have sex in the bath and to both urinate while I
am embedded in her. Is this a safe thing to do? It's
such a turn on as a fantasy that we would love to
see how it really feels in practice. can you advise
us?
Thanks,
wetly
wondering
Dear
Wetly Wondering:
Embedded
inside her? Do you burrow, too?
I
think it's great that you two have found a common fetish.
Water sports!
Here
are the rules of peeing: you are free to pee ON EACH
OTHER until you create a massive flood; but, you CANNOT,
CANNOT, CANNOT pee inside of each other! It's very,
VERY unhealthy. I repeat, you can pee on each other.
She can pee on your face (mouth and eyes closed) and
you can pee on her face. You can even pee on each other's
body's, anywhere you damn well please, but you cannot
pee inside her vagina or ass, and she cannot pee in
your mouth.
If
I haven't made myself clear, please email me, ok!
Good
luck and happy water sporting :0
Love,
Aspasia
*
* * * *
Subject:
Life's Little Issues
Ok,
there's this guy who I'm with... we've been 'sexually
together' for about six months now, though we were
good friends for a while before that... but there
is an issue I'm having with this relationship: he
isn't monogamous. he says he's completely in love
with me, but he likes to have fun... which is understandable
of course, but at the same time, I almost feel like
I'm not good enough, despite trying to convince myself
not to feel that way. and he is very nice about it
too... he always asks me if I'm ok with the whole
polygamy thing... and according to him, I can take
his 'polygamy privilege' away even if I wanted to...
but if I did, I would feel as though I were restricting
him in some way, despite his constant reminders of
how much he enjoys our time together... plus, I've
already said I'd be ok with it, because I thought
I would be... and I don't want to go back on my word.
also, if I tell him I've changed my mind, he may
see me differently... I come across as a very easy-going
person, I think, and in most things other than this,
I am... he may not feel the same about me if he thought
I were different. and there was one instance when
I brought up the topic of what he'd do or say if
I were unhappy with him... or something along those
lines. anyway, his answer was long-winded but the
meaning was 'if you aren't happy than you don't have
to be with me. I wouldn't dream of making you unhappy.'
which is good in one sense, but at the same time
isn't what I'd like... I guess I don't feel like
I mean that much to him, despite the 'if you love
someone set them free' concept. anyway, I don't know
what to do about this... please help!
Morally
confused
Dear
Morally Confused:
I
got a question for you, my dear, why are you settling
for something you don't really want? It seems to me
that you're looking for a monogamous relationship.
There is nothing wrong with this desire; so why sell
yourself short and settle for a man who cant give you
that?! do you feel that you don't deserve more?
If
you wanted to be with someone in a non-monogamous relationship,
that wouldn't make you morally bankrupt. In fact, there
is nothing wrong with non-monogamous relationships
or monogamous ones. Each consenting adult gets to decide
what is appropriate for them, not society.
This
relationship is taking a toll on your self-esteem,
and I ask you, is it worth it? He's not meeting your
needs.
As
difficult as it is, consider moving on, and telling
him why. You can phrase this in a very non-threatening
way: "I am not happy in this relationship. I've come
to the realization that I would prefer a monogamous
relationship. I know this isn't something you're looking
for, and I respect that the same way I'd like you to
respect my needs."
For
the record: his desire for non-monogamy doesn't mean
that you aren't enough for him or that he doesn't love
you. all it means is that his idea of love isn't monogamous.
But that doesn't mean you should accept it for yourself.
Good
luck and keep me looped.
Love,
AF |
