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Latest 15 Reader Comments

Perfecto.

A perfect combination of Awww and oh yeah baby!

same as above, details.

She started out with dark hair and ended up a blonde. Great story except for those few things.

Interesting idea, didn't work

I only glanced at the other comments, but I guess a lot of us are saying the same thing. You had an interesting idea, but didn't develop it. The result was a pointless, kind of confusing, kind of boring repeat of the first story.

You could have had the guy try to act too directly on the foreknowledge and screw things up and then spend the rest of the time working to repair the timeline to what it should be. That would have even followed the formula of a romance.

You could have had him somehow take advantage of the foreknowledge, but that would have required you have a second bad incident in the first story that he would be trying to avoid during the second.

His wife tried to kill him, tried repeatedly to kill him over several months. That was never dealt with adequately. If in the original story she had had a pre-existing long term relationship with a bike gang scuz or somesuch, then this could have been part of a long term plot and they might have been responsible for his car accident and he could have used the foreknowledge to investigate all of that and get her prosecuted.

The choice you made was about the only uninteresting one there was.

I do love all of your other stories and look forward to your contributions in the future. You are a very good writer and I like your laconic story and main characters.

Thanks for writing your stories.

How do i love thee (e.b.b) 1806-1861

writing a Love story this transcendent should be illegal , i voted this series 5 stars , but that just does not do it justice ,
with a story like this there is no base line ,
nowhere you can go for comparrison,

No , thats not true , there is Literature that this in my opinion fits comfortably on the same shelf as , We call them Classics , you will find them in bookshops & you will find them in Librarys . i know this is only a very short story , but one can tell from all the praise expressed in the comments , that its so very easy to fill in the Beauty & Love & the joy experienced by this very unique & very special family during the years not covered by the Author .

i read this for the 1st time on my tablet/palm during lunch.
my colleagues thought i had received some tragic news.
i guess that will happen when someone starts whispering, ogod ogod ogod, is clearly in distress & has streams of tears rolling down thier face.

you Bastard , you utter Bastard ,
why did she have to die so soon ? . only 41 you fcker ,
the youngest children are just babes, not even in high school.
could you have not let Andy reach 50 ?
have let them enjoy another decade ?
would that have ruined the story ?
would letting the family grow up in bliss together
for just a few more years have buggered the plot ?
Andy die @ 50 , Amanda @ 75 , Alex @ 96 ish ,
would that really have been so bad ?.
would it have detracted in anyway from what you wanted to achieve ?

omg ,
How do i love thee? Let me count the ways ...............

1* because this writer can't be bothered finishing or answering others that have asked if its going to be continued.

Proof read

You need to read your story carefully. First she had on a thin t-shirt and when they get to the bedroom it has morphed into a button-up blouse,

Good start

I enjoyed the story and hope you continue with it. It is not easy to put yourself out there and I hope that you find that your ability to capture the reader will progress as you evolve as a writer.

disappointed

i know he left her, but i still think of her fucking her dates as cheating. ruined the romance for me.

Great work!

It's wonderful to read such well done romance. Even when another sex scene might potentially bog down a scene, you have a way of painting their relationship in a new light, having the characters learn something more about themselves or each other. Simply wonderful.

one thing though

Aureole is a halo of light surrounding a religious person in a painting. Breasts have an areola.

2014 Update News

Listen up everyone who just finished this story for the first time and wondering what happens next. This story has become a real novel, by the author and I FOR 1 AM SOOOOOOOO EXCITED! Just finished this unfinished version 10 minutes ago, and followed the link in another comment about it. I'm a big time romance novel reader and was just saying how this story is good enough to an actual book! So happy my wish came true!

Ok Hans

Fair comment, however even with that tag, I still felt your story contained far to much content about the game. In parts it was almost like a layman's " how to play softball " coaching manual. I'm sure all the softball fans out there most probably understood it & maybe even enjoyed that side of this tale but for me it became monotonous & did little to further, or enhance the story except where it directly impacted on the storyline.
That was the only reason I did not give you a perfect score.

Wonderful as a gay romance!

Why can't it be a gay romance? I thought the story was great all the way. I can imagine Logan and Brier going even further than their tentative kiss. How about hair on the chests for both guys? I'm looking forward to subsequent chapters! I do feel sorry for poor Chad, however. But I have the feeling that Logan and Brier belong together, running their hands over naked bodies, tracing hair patterns in their chests, feeling the throbbing cocks, tasting the lips and kissing skin -- please bring it on!

Update!

Yay! Thanks ANON for the first comment!
Anyways, I just uploaded the next chapter this morning, at like midnight. I don't know how long the upload will take. The time frame used to be 2-3 days, but after getting some updates from other Lit authors, I think the wait will be much longer (4-6?).

Thanks for reading!

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