Excellent use of the first line of the story. It was creative and a recurring theme.
The overriding theme of the persistence of this couples love felt a bit like "The Notebook". It's fine if that's what you're going for. It gives the story more of a fantasy feel than a gritty realistic feel.
Overall, excellent writing as always. I felt for the character which is the important thing and makes the story enjoyable. Welcome back.
Damn good little tale.
that was an an awesome story with a Freaking bad ending!
I just couldn't finish. Too many errors and the difficult story line made reading this mess impossible. No stars as I didn't finish.
IF he's at all clever he understands her motivations and videos their fucking.(Because that's what they're doing - fucking. Not making love). He should be in this to bury her and her lover Christina. (That was a little too obvious). At that point he gets all the visitation he wants and moves on. leaving her with her lover. I'm thinking she's not going to be too happy about that. The other possibility is to just pick up and head for somewhere a long ways away and start over. Pretty easy for a good lawyer to do. He must see that she's screwing with him. Poor ending
Then things geared down to purposeful healing pace, only to ratchet up again to a transcendent flourish of an ending. This story is sooo favorited. Better believe that.
Enjoyable read. Perhaps a tad too long and drawn out at points. I had difficultly believing or understanding why he believed she never really cheated. She may not have consummated the physical act, but she cheated in every other way possible and his initial response of never being able to trust her would have held true. And ambushing him by moving down next to him, creating liars out of David and Manolo would not have sat well. I don't see him taking her back. And I would have fired Manolo for starting to cut a road between the two properties without talking to him first. A nice reconciliation story that I just couldn't accept.
It simply never got off the ground. Never captured my interest. Never created anything entertaining. No stars.
As she will be raising it by herself after the divorce. Without communication the marriage is over. Yeah it sounds like a nice male fantasy but the reality is what did she just expose him to? An STD? Aids? Herpes? In his position most men simply roll their heads into the pillow and slide the blindfold up enough to see what's going on. The writing simply never convinced me that this was anything but a slut satisfying herself without regards to her husbands wishes.
Tired of his wife's games he implemented his own plan. He had been packing his things for awhile. He made one call that got the movers to the house. He made a second call that moved 75% of their assets to his private accounts, then moved those funds again to an offshore account that was untraceable. A third call was made to his attorney to serve his wife with the divorce papers. The PI he had hired knew exactly where his soon to be ex-wife was located. As the movers finished packing and left, he made one final call to his Daughter to say goodbye, tell her that he was tired of the games and was leaving her Mother. That after the divorce was final, he'd be in touch with her and her brothers. End of the silly game. This was unconvincing at best, boring at worst.
Awesome story. The only thing that could've made it better would've been an ending where they did get together. Would LOVE a sequel.
Off the beaten path. You show a great knowledge of psychology and the story, as unlikely as it is, has a sense of reality.
Colleen died in 2006, so if it's incomplete (which I don't think it is), it's going to stay that way.
Thats what this story was..I mean is..I mean is currently...heck with it! You know what I mean!
It was fun to read all the way through and I enjoyed it. I don't even like wrestling and I enjoyed it. Good job.
I like the amount of detail added, there was just enough to get the whole picture, but at the same time it glossed over enough so that the reader didn't have to go through all the nitty gritty at the same time.
Several of the comments call this story a primer. I call it an object lesson. It just confirms in me, that deep down inside...I could never get into the lifestyle. Please, do not confuse that statement with me condemning it at all! Whatever makes people happy let them enjoy it and everything, "So that it harm none, do as thou whilt." and all that. I have read several differnet storys and spoken to many peple who enjoy it is all. This story has clinched it. I am not cut out for BDSM.
Have to admit, some parts of it do seem like fun! LOL
All this to say, good story, surprised at the low rating. Hope you continue writing more. I find your stories to be both educational, titilating, and they make me think. Darn you for the last one! I don't read these stories so I have to THINK! :-)
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