Thank you for the responses and interest. It really is a bit overwhelming to find that people want to read what I create.
Chapter two was submitted last night and should post 12/16 or 12/17.
this was a piece of shit. I gave one star for the first four chapters, after that it turned to shit ! ! !
why leave a hot wife just because she fucks someone else, help her enjoy sex with others and kiss and lick the cum from her body
I so hope you continue this.
Wow some real passion! Keep writing!!
Page 10 has Marcie removing Dana's needles and, two sentences later, Todd removing them?
So good!!!!! Had me right from the jump!! Keep writing!!!
Liked the story until he cheated on Terry. I retired after 30 years on active duty in the infantry. I saw cheating wives destroy some of the toughest men I've ever served with. I had no respect for those men who cheated on their wives while deployed. I've heard all the reasons for it and they are, without exception, BS. Too bad, I really wanted to like this.
I have two major comments to make. First, this was a sweet story that got hot. I loved having her play with herself while he read smut to her. I think I'll have to steal that seeing as I really liked how it played out.
Second, I applaud you for trying to improve your writing. However, you really need a proofreader. I'm not talking about an editor, whose job I would expect to be to make suggestions in the structure, flow, and content of your story. The proofreader should make sure that sentences are complete (something a grammar checker may do) AND make sure that you used the correct word, even though the word passed the spell check.
For instance, let's take the example "hansom" given by a previous commenter. Despite being the wrong word for the sentence, it is a real word, spelled just like you have it. So it would pass the spell check. I suspect, however, that you meant he was good looking (handsome) rather than a horse drawn carriage (hansom).
Looking at a bunch of the mistakes, I suspect you may be using an audio to text program and it has trouble understanding you for whatever reason. I have trouble using Siri for the same reason - I get a lot of really interesting sentences when I try!
Anyway, this was a great story and I voted a 5 for the story quality and concept, not the technical follow-through. Looking forward to reading more of your works.
That you would continue your stories, but am so glad you are still around.
I look forward to reading them all over again, and some new material as well.
Though I can't remember any of the mistakes you mention in the bio.
Anyhow good luck, I'll be looking for your material every day.
Hmmm she remembers everything; makes me wonder if they r to be mates! Can't wait to c the next chapter
Neither gives a crap about her marriage, she certainly doesn't care about her husband who is the big loser in this seduction....so bring on the consequences for them both....and for the company they work for.
This is probably the best story I have read in Literatica, with its depth of feeling, and love. You have got to be a real author or columnist! Your style is too well developed, grammar too perfect. Your character development and story line is far beyond any author that I have read so far. Keep up the great work.
Just finished the story, and enjoyed it greatly. Good
plot, good characters and good writing.
There are enough loose ends left that you could write
either additional chapters, or start a new story line. I
certainly hope you will revisit this story and add to it.
Thanks for a fine read.
But did the sex scene have to be in a filthy hole in the wall? :( This is the kind of story I'd like to edit. Unfortunately, I'm booked for about a month. Anyway, I look forward to reading more chapters. Great start!
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