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Latest 15 Reader Comments

good story!

this chapter is hotter, than first!

don't turn story over, don't make Tom alpha-male. he like to be shy voyeur geek and he should come back home to mommy!

OMG

Very hot read, hotels can be so much fun,

I hope there's a part 4!

I hope there's a party 4! By the way, is anyone allowed to continue this story or is that not allowed?

As the previous comment stated: Needs editing. Really, really needs editing.

It's one thing to ignore a spelling error, or error in grammar. It's another thing entirely to have to stop and re-read a sentence because you can't make any sense at all out of what the author wrote, and end up having to "guess" what he was trying to say.

The story has some promise, as long as you stay focused on a storyline and don't allow yourself to become distracted by side stories or parallel story arcs. This whole "missing friend" sub-plot is taking up a lot of the story. Is it important to the main story? Will it tie in with the main story? Is it a waste of energy for you to write and for your readers to remember? Instead of that distraction, you might be better off focusing on the main story and telling THAT story a little better.

Not bad...

...but please try and get someone to grammar check it.

Very hard for a pedant like me to get into the story when I keep falling over grammatical errors.

The story itself is pretty good.

Spoiler

In keeping with the rest of the story, the boss will be Tom's father.

PS Brilliant

Great story.

You developed the story so well. Beauty, love, and caring with no vulgarity. A good map for real life.

can not wait the next part of the story

That is some good stuff

Really love your writing. You are one talented individual and really portrayed the feeling and emotion well. Bravo.

Better than first.

I thought the first chapter was hot, but this one was better.
It had every thing and more, every thing I could ask for.
And talk about a complete twist, what about the ending.
I hope these women turn Tom in to a hunk, so that he turns
things around back home.
The woman/woman, the man/woman, and the threesome,
just great Wonderer4, thank you.
And please, please add more.

wonderful

once again wow! continue writing what a cliff hanger, but tables should turn for tom, so he can get back at them all using the amazonians and boss in the limmo :)

Either my deduction skills are improving or...

I am reading your stories too often. It has to be the first option as the second may suggest a bit of predictability which you don't have. Good read as usual. I hope you win! Thanks.

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