No one is cheating!
55 - 46 = 11 --- simple math? huh...
I like the fact that he has gotten it together enough for him to consider asking out an attractive woman. I had a bad feeling for a while when he got blown up but his back bone remained intact, though I would expect him to bitterer. Let's see another story!
One of the problems authors have, I know I do, is getting to The End on a story. I think Sparky did on this one. I am often accused of being too brief, for example: They lived happily ever after; or Will I be back? Ask my lawyer as I walked out the door.
Chapter one had a lot of emotional impact, it was a fairly well written tale on a compelling subject. I think chapters two and three could each have been a short paragraph to finish chapter one and this would have been a much better one sitting short story. I would suggest Sparky, and others, read Edgar Allen Poe's essay on the short story wherein he admonishes the author to include nothing at all extraneous to the central hypothesis of the story and to proceed immediately from the denouement, the hotel door scene, to the conclusion.
Just an opinion of one reader in this case.
This chapter felt a bit "abrupt" and it did tie off any loose threads.
Overall a good 4* tale.
Keep them coming.
so deal with it or eat shit and die,. Ghetto assholes.
If OOAA likes it, it has to be shit.
Still would like to know how Provocative means cuckold?
The story left me feeling unsatisfied. The slut wife was a disgrace and she never paid for her repeated treachery. 2 stars
she was sucking his dick,then he KISS her
or Why does it happen. TK U MLJ LV NV
Please, continue it soon :)
Not too bad for a second story overall, but this third chapter was disjointed and repetitious. I agree with another reader regarding the misuse of "to" and "too." Quite a few authors seem to make this mistake and better editing would catch this sort of thing.
But the long confession really contributed little to the story. We pretty much knew this stuff already based on the information in chapter 2. And frankly, no woman in a middle-class lifestyle, who is supposedly educated, would use porno language to describe her tryst with another man, certainly not if she was trying to apologize.
It's fine if the relationship is a voluntary cuckold one, where Hubby gets off on the description of juicy sex. But it is not only lacking in credulity that Ms. Former Wife would indicate how great the sex was with Mr. Mayor, it is inconceivable she would include details that were obviously an attempt by the author to provide erotica for the reader. It also falls flat, in my opinion, because most readers are saddened by what happened to crippled Hubby and not in the mood for porn at that stage of the story.
I don't think this chapter contributed much and agree chapter one was the best, with two and three being inadequate follow-ups to a dramatic start. Sequels and endings can be difficult but some authors have the knack and others just avoid finishing the story altogether (JPB, for instance). But I feel the author has promise and with more practice, there will be significant improvement.
Exactly what price did this piece-of-shit slut pay. Well, actually nothing. She greatly dishonored her husband who is servicing his country and she pays no real price. Bitch should of suffer greatly (but she's off to fuck some other asshole) while he paid a great physical and emotional price.
Good story, a little more editing would have made it better. 5*!
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