tagErotic StoriesMatureRecent Commets

Mature Feedback Portal

Load newRequesting new commentsRequesting new commentsNo new comments, try later

Latest 15 Reader Comments

their first time having sex was possibly the most erotic ive ever read.

Very Hot!

I enjoyed this one very much. Like another poster, one of the best stories I've read. You are very talented indeed!


carry on writing using the same ideas that you showed here.

But also, please, if you run the story through a spell-checker, read it again afterwards to see if you pick up words that are correctly spelled but the wrong word, such as

"in some since he was"
which should read "in some sense he was"

If you have done that already, then while you're pondering another story to write, try reading an established author's work.... not somebody who has only published on the web, but somebody who has a reputation in print.
Steven King. Charles Dickens. Robert Heinlein. Jack Kerouac. Ernest Hemingway. Anyone like that, but choose one you might not be a complete fan of. Don't let the story get in the way of the author's use of language and the skills he or she shows in it. Try and see how the story is written from a grammatical point of view.
Apply the same standards to your own. You don't have to copy a style, though. Kerouac, King, Dickens, Heinlein.... all had the same language skills even though they are different kinds of writers.
Then, with some rough edges smoothed off, look at your previous stories and see if you can spot areas for improvement. It will be rewarding for you and your readers.

Finding Glory.

Excellent! To bad he didn't eat her asshole out first.

very good lead in...thank you for suggesting this series. im sure it will be great.

Great story

I had a van years ago...had many fun parties in that ole van...

Not a false start!

This is only a beginning... I have submitted part 2 and am awaiting approval! I know she doesn't fuck in this part, I am sorry if it was misleading, it is just the beginning. She does get fucked in the second one! There is much more to be done! Please hang in there as I have no control over how quickly the stories get approved.

Damn good story!

Keep writing. Love ur stories


Part 2 please

great intro

run with it.. pretty good story going so far....


Man I thought you were going to be one of the good one that finished the story but looks like I was wrong hope you prove me right and finish it

Incredibly hot start!...

Yes please continue! I agree with the previous commenter, this was possibly a bit rushed at the finish but that's ok, you've got a wonderful story going to build on. One of the hotter scenario stories I've read here....keep going!

Forgot your password?

Please wait

Change picture

Your current user avatar, all sizes:

Default size User Picture  Medium size User Picture  Small size User Picture  Tiny size User Picture

You have a new user avatar waiting for moderation.

Select new user avatar: