go the super-natural. TK U MLJ LV NV
Formally, perhaps "discordant" is correct. But "discordiant" (even the automatic Literotica dictionary protests) sounds softer, sounds more feminine. So, simple curiosity-- what is it according to the author?
Thank you postobitum.
I have a thread on Poetry Feedback & Discussion (a board here, at Literotica) with selected poems. This collection is called "Moonglasses". I'd like to include your poem there. This would be the best compliment from me :-) Would you agree?
Robert Frost was a great Poet .
(I liked the rest of your poem also)
I won't spoil your 5, but punctuation makes it less than it deserves. So close. Please make this right. I like.
It works. I hear it. I feel it. I will read more.
A nice meditation, Spring Breezes.
The syntax is stanza 2 confused me. "More lucious than a lilac day" right after "earth too heavy" felt incongruent.
"transport the dreams
more lucious than a lilac day
that find this earth too heavy"
sounds better to me.
Your poems always have such nice imagery, BTW. Nice juxtaposition of "cocoa on a winter day" and "barefoot strides at play."
the "pseudo-debutante" Bitch with Brains vs. prissy Ruth born with a silver blah blah blah ?
i'm of course ignorant of the physics of a Pantoum : guess one line each from first four
stanzas taken together forms last stanza ?
Nice descriptive tale weaved in : of course 5-ed .
There is something about this poem that keeps drawing me back...hence worthy of a *heart*
There maybe still time...to turn back the clock.
You said it all, I can not express any better than what you did, my sisters are the true Queens of the Universe.
I think this poem stands on it’s own and should be left alone. I like the questions it raises in my mind and I’d prefer to wrestle with them, than have you spell it out. Great poem!
Even without the note at the end it was very obvious you were inspired by Ken Follet. I really enjoyed this piece. It is the first of yours I have read, and I very much look forward to reading more.
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