Dude its been a year i need to get to the climax of this story atleast please man.
Yes i was waiting for your update...and it was worth it..thanx
There aren't many story tellers out there with your wit, imagination and turn of phrase. Yes, it's a bit grammatically messy but oh so worth it! Thanks for sharing.
Brilliantly surreal, plz continue.
Thank you for all the ratings and comments/suggestions, some of you already figured the whole under-plot, but don't let that ruin the story for you. ETA on chapter two is indefinite.
I love you. ༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ gimme more please?
Another outstanding chapter in this riveting tale. Although the content was great, I noticed that there were a number of grammar errors and wrong words. Was this chapter a bit rushed? Are you perhaps in need of an editor? In any case, still an easy five stars.
Man, you're seriously churning this stuff out! Compared to Nobel_Truth and other awesome authors here, you're becoming both great and seriously prolific. The rate at which you complete this story is inspiring.
I love to see Jamie building himself back up like this, and I can't wait to see him explore other applications of his "Jedi powers" besides telekinesis and his 6th sense. -- Particularly lighting, which I expect he could accomplish by combining the concepts of lightning-bending (as Iroh explains in it in Avatar) and the Tesla coil. That would be *exactly* in Jamie's wheelhouse.
One minor gripe (from a creative writing minor):
The way that one of those fetishes just happened to be exactly what the former Jacobs family needed is a bit out of place... not all that far from deus ex machina, really.
Considering how M'bata would have virtually no use for a one-off item like that, as well as how Laura *immediately* zeroed-in on *that* fetish while the rest are irrelevant or indecipherable... it all suggests that this fetish was contrived by the author purely to solve the language problem, rather than something that truly belongs in the story.
- Of course, I understand all the elements that were involved in establishing this setup beforehand: each fetish having very specifically limited uses, other enchanted "black magic" relics (that may or may not be similarly designed for one-time use) being found in a vault, everything that went into Jamie's acquiring the fetishes from M'bata... however, it's just not quite enough to fully offset those two problems.
But like I said, the problem-solving relic is just a minor issue surrounded by impeccable work.
As always, we're all already eagerly awaiting more, so keep up all the great work, you sycko!
(I'd bet you already know how Force-Lightning would work, and even whether or not it will ever come into play in this story
for reference on what I meant with the lighting, look on youtube here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VXyJXtKVp-o starting at 7:20, and here:
Thank you for updating this story once more!
That is a good book ace let's see more
yay, new chapter!
though there are a few mistakes here and there, it's good to see where thing's are going now. ^.^
I think I get it.
The glyph's purpose was to modify him so that his power would be separate from the typical laws of magic, and instead be governed only by Jamie's own conceptualization of his power as The Force.
The vamp's modification spell was both the trigger and the catalyst that allowed the transformation to be absolute as an inherent part of him (like when altering DNA).
I almost got tears when I read how alone and dejected zyra felt. I can on some level emphasize with her you are a great writer.
This is the second storyline from you that is amazing. This one is even better that the other 16 part story. Please come back and finish this. At least publish the book and tell us where to get it...
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