I appreciate your feedback. My GF and a friend of mine who's read the original both said the same thing as you. LOL. At any rate, the next part focuses on both Damien and his cell mates (all are young except for Orlando, who's kind of the strong quiet thoughtful type, and cell leader as it were), as well as Marsdek and Ylloria and her conflict with her Lady overseer. It's already submitted, and this one is longer. 4 pages in terms of this site, but around 22 pages in word document. It should be approved soon. I hope you enjoy it.
When I initially read and responded to your post I was most surprised that anyone would infer a negative or racist intent from what was written. So I justified what I had shared with readers concerning the dialog of these fictional characters. But having had time to really think about what you stated two things struck me immediately.
First of all I assume that you have jumped in and read part 5 (though I may be wrong) without the benefit of parts 1-4 to showcase the many other instances when you might have called me "sexist" or "species-ist" as well as "racist" based on my treatment of humans and females versus ultach and their sexually male dominant hierarchy.
But second, since you made the statements and comments you did, I got to thinking about my friends in Winter Park and Atlanta, and here and in Tampa and in Arlington Texas, and Las Vegas,... (again I'll clarify since you brought it up, my black/African American friends. Though it's sad to have to even make that distinction.) and I realized that not only do two of them work in Civil Service Jobs and speak in the manner I shared, but so do several others. They're ALL decent and intelligent people. Not a damn thing wrong with any of them, and while my characters are fictional the dialog (even with the various Southern and Black dialects and pronunciations and expressions) is very real. I borrowed it from really acquaintances and very close friends.
So hearing you making an inference that the dialog is somehow prejudicial or racist makes me a bit angered. Because you're insulting a lot of people who I care very much for and have known a long time. The implication that they are simple or lesser because of the way that they speak, joke, or the slang that they use is an outrage! That purely based on their language skills a civil service job would not allow someone with that vocabulary to work for them? BS! I think you might just be onto something when you brought up this topic. There has been some bigotry going on here. But you may want to take a closer look in the mirror before accusing others of what you are obviously guilty of.
Had the characters been white, would you have then gone after me for my Geographic bias? (what is the nasty term for someone who is bashing the Southern accent?It's hard to say what sort of "ist" you should attach to that sentiment). Any author has to be true to his subject matter. Even in fiction, it's predicated on the believability of the characters. And since I have a lot of friends who use mild to heavy amounts of the very speaking affectations that you have concluded makes them somehow lessened, I believe that they would laugh their butts off at your statements and go with what they also hear in this modern day and age. BTW, the Gary Coleman's old "Different Strokes" phrase is still well known. African Americans do use it, and so do some white/European American?, people as well. Even some younger men. Skin tone not withstanding!
In closing, if you didn't like the dialog in part 5, I suggest you read something else because you'll hate part 6 even more. Sorry you didn't enjoy the story or what you derived from this fiction piece. And as annoying as your bigoted commentary is I feel more sad for you that you went to a racial bias and made such a prejudicial remark in the first place.
Great list. Thanks a lot. One question. Was Katy Lee actually a conquest? Certainly interested but I don't recall her ever having the opportunity to hook up?
I didn't get lost on your story, but thanks some people mite really needed that info. so please continue.
Well done second chapter. Good to know he's not changing into a Mr. Fixit. Bring on chapter 3
Etaski, i've been having a super busy month, and ONLY NOW can i start reading this chapter. Looking forward to it!!!!
On to the next!
I really like Rover as a character. It is much smarter than originally thought and the descriptions through his eyes are simplistic as you'd expect from an animal, but even with that he's a very funny character.
Good series keep it up
Thank you for this story, please continue. It should be good.
Thanks, guys for the kind words,.... I know I've got a few mistakes to address in this chapter, but I'll get to them, eventually. As for 'anonymous'.... I stated, right from the start, that my writing reflects my libertarian beliefs. I you prefer that politically correct mind numbed left wing drivel, I'd suggest you become pen pals with Michael Bloomberg, Diane Feinstein, or that idiot Joe Biden. Either way, don't bother me about it..... if you don't like my writing, don't read it. No skin off my ass.
same anon as before, with the same name as evan here..
this guy is lucky. if only right?
Great story! cant wait for more
Awsome story man..really enjoyed it...thanx for the early update..just hope the updates remain frequent and lond
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