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Damn, just the kind of story I like

and very well developed opening. Cant wait to see wherre it goes. As you know, the beginning is always the easiest part of any tale, so hope you can keep it exciting and tense throughout.

Last, hope you wrote this entire thing already, and are posting consecutively, otherwise it becomes tiresome for the reader to stay current in the story.

Good luck

Interesting!

You're a good storyteller. However, when you're writing, the use of proper punctuations and less use of passive voice can be your friend. As I was reading, I found myself editing which is not the effect you want to have on your readers. Don't split paragraphs, which convey a simple thought or emotion because it breaks up the flow. You have talent but with basic skills set in place, you could be unstoppable.

to *sigh*

Then go and pay for a finished book. .. These guys are giving us their free raw material. ..I will always gladly and gratefully wait patiently for their work. ... Special thanks to the writers and this website

Well written, but

I have to agree that the dick size is an issue used in these stories that is less of an issue in real life. It's used by writers to make the betrayal even worse. It's something the husband cannot correct, unlike if the lover had a bigger car, or boat. If affairs were about dick size, the women would have to find out how big a potential lover's dick is before the affair. I doubt many women do that. They fall for the guy and his dick can be any size, but in the wronged husband's eyes, it has to be a big dick that lured her away. Why tell the husband that the guy had a bigger dick and was a better lover if she wants to reconcile? For a husband to be told that and then get past it would be very difficult. Why be with hubby if big dicks are so much better? Why doesn't she just find a new guy with a big dick? She's telling him that his other traits make up for his smaller dick and weak love making skills. How in hell can a woman win a guy back with shit like that, unless he's one of those guys that like humiliation?

This reminds me on an Ohio story where the husband makes the lover end the affair and then gets mad at the wife years later. It's interesting and well written, but I fail to see how he can wrap his head around being a small dicked, mediocre lover and remain married, regardless of how many women he bangs. He knows what the wife believes about his shortcomings.

short but very sweet!!!!

Thank you for your story, Even though it was short, It goes to show that good things, happen to good people.

Hot hot hot

God this story is soooo hot. I love how Ronald takes advantage of Allys but not cruelly. I work at a desk job and when there is no one looking, I pull out this stOry and end up rubbing and fingering my pussy. I always cum while reading this!

"…makes it up to her…"

Can't really "make it up" to anyone when you've lied and broken trust. You can only apologize, beg forgiveness and work very hard to repair what you break, but expect scars. Mind-blowing orgasms don't magically make up for anything - ever. Seriously - blowing past hard limits?

I really enjoyed reading this story, you really made the characters feel real.

Wouldn't definitely be pumped to read some form of follow-up as well!

This was positively wonderful. The build-up, the side stories (the gay encounter and sweet Maribell), the whole thing was very well done. I would advise you stick to your plan, as opposed to the suggestion of trimming the fat of the side stories. I enjoy the longer read. I am mildly disappointed, as it seems the 'exquisite Amy' may not enter the story at all, though I know this is meant to focus on the mother and son in the end. Still, you seem to have a firm grasp on where you are going and should not stray just because of some comments.

Cheers.

Waited too long for chapter 3

I've been coming back to this story for months. We've waited too long for Chapter 3. I need Katie to get fucked again, I need her to get double teamed, triple teamed, I need her to take a cock from ass to mouth, I just need her to keep going. I would love her to get into a full on bisexual thing with two guys, but that's just me. If Gethsemane won't do it, i there anyone out there who will write it?

Breath vs breathe

Breath is a noun.
Breathe is a verb.

Cute story though.

Go to asstr.org, or storiesonline.net where the label it cuck so you don't have to read shit yo know it is shit.

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