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Latest 15 Reader Comments

More please

Could we please have a follow up with these two?

more.

I liked it but you need to write more chapters to let us know what happens next. Do they go along with wives or not. I knew they set this up. Thanks write more.

Sucked!

I couldn't get passed the first page it was so bad, you need to rethink being an author.

I liked the story, but ...

... I would have liked it two stars more if the spelling - especially the spelling - and the grammar mistakes hadn't kept getting in the way of the story.

And there appears to be a continuity problem: before she is deflowered she requires the man to put on a condom, but when he's finished she sees blood - that figures - and semen. No mention that the condom broke, if it did - and by the next morning she is happily screwing without a condom. Either you ignore the safe sex issue from the beginning, or keep the character's behavior consistent - using a condom, going bullshit if it broke the first time, so on and so forth.

I liked the fact that your character was overweight and admitted it to herself and others. The almost mandatory female figure in Literotica has big - almost impossibly big in many cases - boobs, and hips and waist appropriate to a woman with a much much smaller bust; she is almost built like Barbie. That you had the courage to create a character opposite to the approved model speaks very well. Now - get an editor who will help you clean up the spelling (this is not cheating or having a ghostwriter) but keep having your protagonist have a lot of self awareness, and you will do very well indeed.

it is nice that

they both actually liked each other and cared.

Tbc

To be continued stories are the worst. And yeah.. Name your wife. Also 40D is a large woman with average tits. The number is I chest around her chest and the letter is cup size.
I don't usually comment, but you've got potential :) your ideas are hot.

hot!

I loved it. Reading it made me feel like I was in it and it was gentle and loving. Just the way I like it. Well done!

Spelling and Grammar Mistakes

I'm sorry... I tried to read this, but couldn't. It was a good idea but the poor grammar and spelling mistakes messed with me too much to be able to enjoy it. If you like, Literotica has editors that can help you with those kinds of issues.

sorry

5 stars are as high as they have in voting but needless to say, this rendering was way past that. most enjoyable tale, well spun and delivered perfectly. I look forward to more of your excellent stories!

GREAT!

ONE OF THE BEST I'VE READ. I AGREE WITH THE GUY FROM DOWN UNDER. EXCEPT I"M NOT SURE YOU NEED TO CLEAN IT UP. TRY AMAZON'S SELF PUBLISHING FOR KENDEL. I DID AND HAVE SOLD A FEW BOOKS, AND I DON'T WRITE NEARLY AS GOOD AS YOU.

love the story except it ends early

I am a mid-20's woman who is a lesbian and has tiny breasts like the unnamed lady in this story. My nipples are like electrical circuits when a lover covers them with her mouth and bites/sucks/licks and it drives me up a wall. I have NO complaints about my sexuality or ability to give extreme pleasure. Don't give ladies like us the short end of your thoughts and feel as if it is a bad thing. We cannot change anything but sex is sex is sex is sex and I am, in my opinion, a beautiful woman with lots to offer.

dark, sad and a bright finish

A very deep tale. Lots of twists and turns and surprises. I enjoyed it immensely.

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