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Latest 15 Reader Comments

Wow I'm so glad I have the story a chance, is really good, could be a movie

Great Story

YOU are very talented, please continue writing. I love this story and find it to be a fresh take on relationships. Good luck freegirl2012

Excellent story

Didn't mind that it could use a little editing.

Five.

Read them all.

I happened onto your first story about the Doc. then I read #1, & just had to read #2 !!! I will be coming back to see if you have any new tales to tell.

I do sooo enjoy your work, & hoping you will get out more of this caliber storys.

Thanks for a great set of storys!!

Virtually unreadable.

This stream of conciousness is so disjointed that you need a ghostwriter, not an editor. You have a basic theme, i.e. You want your wife to go black. Beyond that, you have nothing but a page of pseudo random words completely divorced from coherent thought or sentence structure.

Great story !!

Although I was a little confused at first(time of the meetings at college) I got the idea the man, was a girlfriend. Up until they got married. Well from then on, it was just one of the very best storys I have read. Your first Dr Beuchamp was of the same caliber. I loved it too. Going now to read the rest of your posted storys.

Thank You for such great reads. Will stick around as long as you keep writing.

Alysin you the lowest of the low to bad your husband had no balls if he did you would walking around with your cunt around your ears and your ass hole sowed shout so you would die like the piece of shit you are,fuck you.................................

chase her and the nigger away on Christmas day with all her shit

Then don't fucking read it idiot...

I rarely comment or delete these things...But this time I will.

And I get bored as bat shit with modern writing styles that are nothing more than he said, she did. That to me...and my readers, which outnumber you significantly and who are not afraid to put their names on their comments (Freddie)...long for something more.

My style is called free and indirect discourse...and was a hallmark of Jane Austin...not bad company if you ask me. But I did not know that until I took a literature course. It was just what felt right to me...and what spoke to lots of people's hearts.

Now the truth of the matter is that in this shallow world it has lost popularity with publishers...but not readers. The other truth is that on the Internet there is ample room for both. So as my comment said...don't read it...find someone else...cause I don't give a damn...I don't write to please you.

Telling instead of showing

You tell me your story by using lots of words instead of showing me your story by using description and imagery.
I want to see your characters but I can't see your characters. I want to see what you see as a writer but you don't do that.
Show me what you see instead of telling me what you see. I want to feel what you feel.
If you took the time to develop your characters, instead of being one dimensional they'll become three dimensional. They'll stand up from your page to stand behind you and whisper in your ear what to write next.
Take more time with your stories. Everything you write seems rushed. I feel more panic than I do pain. I don't feel anything from this story other than boredom. Sorry.

more please ;

Please continue, i am hoping for lauren and essau together. Essau and eliza can be platonic with her being the foil that gets lauren to show her feelings towards essau withiu meaning too. And maybe eliza can hire lauren so essau wont feel office inappropriate. Or something else fo lauren wile esau is gone. Just please continue, this is the first time i have commented on a story..

OH YES!!!

OhBabyBaby, you get a 5* for this beautiful one pager. Your tale was so perfect, complete, Hot, & the perfect length. I will be back for more of your storys. I know they will be as Hot as this one. These 2, need to met again@ her place & fuck all night. Thanks for a great read.

The story of my wife and I

The entire story is completely true and accurate. It all started with a 40 year old photo of my naked young wife that I finally found again 40 years later. It brought back a lot of old memories and how it all came together for us back then. Willie was, and is, one of the most kind men I have ever met, and I'm thankful my dear wife was the one that got to introduce him into a sexual relationship. In 41 years of marriage, she has never slept with anyone but Willie and I, and she loves us both and we both love and adore her. I hope everyone enjoyed the story. If you decide that you would like a copy of the photo that started all of this happening, send me an email with your address and I'll forward you a copy. Thanks.

Carl

Its OK.

The Bother was gitin the goods. She was lovin it, & he didn't mind. That sounds like a WIN

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