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Latest 15 Reader Comments

Well done!

Just a few personal comments:
why use that title? It's interesting, eye catching certainly. But Jax is not exactly a main character. Neither is the brown eyed girl, really.
Also, the ending felt like more of an outline than actual story. It could use a little more description than the basic plot highlights.
Overall? REALLY liked the story. I was pretty much hooked as soon as Matts wheels started turning as he broke down the situation at the airport. You've got skills.
Aaaaaaand now I'm going to search your page for other - maybe sexier? - stories.
Happy writing!

Author Here

Thanks! I tried to have one "oh shit" moment where Kim got shot, but if I were being more realistic, everyone would have died to Thin Men crits.

Loved it as with everything you take the time out to provide for us to read. I would love for you to continue this story. Not one single person that is a good person like Petra deserves what she has gone through. It would be nice to see her have some good come to her life.

Fabulous

Simply fabulous, but it's not nice to make a grown man cry.

Meh

No buildup. Very anticlimactic.

Hoist on her own petard

She may well have learned from her mistakes - is it worth the risk??

Hard to answer for another - and there is no true wrong answer without the history the future represents -

He tried - she failed -

Did she learn after getting shit on twice - the second time while living the good life away from him????

So what should he do - decide if he is happier with her or without her and how far can he go to regrow the trust before he hits a wall?

Shock is a life changer -

Sometimes for good sometimes not -

This time it seems for the good - hopefully she truly learned from her luck and stupidity that selfish is not part of a partnership.

Another nice story - thanks -

I was completely unsure -

I started the story and almost as quickly thought it was not likely one I wanted to use time on -

I am Oh So Pleased I resisted that impulse - the story was a pure winner - I think I was stuck inn the Eyes Wide Shut reference and that was not what I wanted -

This however was a beautiful story of love and fate and redemption of souls and the price of betrayal. It served justice and even some selfishness to boot.

Nice work - thank you for sharing.

Only a fool

Will kill because his wife cheats. Why sacrifice the chance to enter God's kingdom by killing yourself. Nothing is worth the chance to live forever in paradise!

Not bad

Not bad...but its hard to improve on the story provided by the game with itself. The ending was a bit rushed. I think the best part of the game is when you get too cocky and take that one extra step that springs several aliens. It's a big "oh shit" moment. You should build on that.

Thank you.

So beautiful! So true! Thank you.

Odd

He is having dinner at home with his ex wife, while there is a police investigation of spousal abuse.

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