NonHuman Comments

Load newRequesting new commentsRequesting new commentsNo new comments, try later

Latest 15 Reader Comments

Don't stop now...

This story is wonderful thus far. It's just the right amount of depravity for this point in the story and I feel that you'll extend your amount of detail as the story progresses. It's rare for me to be enthralled in a story as much as I am in this one, so please don't stop writing it.

Ah, and by the way, I'm intrigued by Tyrus's sudden cold demeanor. What's that about? Can't wait to find out.

I never want it to end

I never want it to end. Seriously. I so want this to be a full length book so I could bug you to make it a series. The story is perfect for a series. Still have the usual suggestion about finding an editor and proofreader, but that does not have anything to do with the fact that this story is so wonderful that it deserves a full length book to showcase it.

Obsessed!!

I started reading your story and couldn't stop! You are phenomenal and I am a pretty jaded reader unfortunately so I thank you for your imagination! I am so hooked please please please continue and I promise I'll keep reading and rating high because your awesome!!

Clarification

Serena admitted to being a liar. Keep in mind this whole story has taken place in a very short amount of time. People are allowed to switch their views on others.


If you don't want to read my story then stop reading it. This is a free site, announcing that you are done does not mean I am going to stop writing.

Meh

The story is definitely unique and you have some really witty lines; however, I can't get into it. I'm the type of person who HAS to finish anything I start but I always question why I come back to this. My two pieces of advice are this:

1. Cut back on characters. I'm not saying to get rid of characters but with the multiple viewpoints AND romances it's all so confusing. Yes, there is a guide, which is nice, but I think the fact that you need a guide is not a good thing. There are so many characters and it's all jumbled up that I can't really sink my teeth into a character. Right now, I don't feel as if they are developed/complex human beings (well were beings).

2. If you're writing a romance, there should be some romance. I'm not talking about sex. I want to see a relationship, I want to see it grow and become something unique. Right now, it's almost as if you included a ton couples with shallow characterization instead developing a strong/deep relationship.

Overall, I commend you for putting this online. It takes a lot of guts to do this.

Why he's not "smart"

I think Rhys is very intelligent, but I also think he's under an enormous amount of pressure constantly, which has a way of draining a person, regardless of how smart or strong they are. So he turns to Isa as and adviser, what's wrong with that? Heads of state do that regularly for all sorts of issues. Honestly, I actually view this more as a character strength of Isa that she is able to provide their leader with quality advise. If Rhys always had all the answers, why is there even a story about him at all? Why run with a pack that needs him far more than he needs them, the whole loyalty business aside? Rhys is imperfect, as is every other character in this story. I personally think it makes them more real and easy to understand.

I think another commenter pointed out that (s)he liked that the pack is poor and not really all that powerful and I couldn't agree more. This is a pack that almost everyone can relate to and understand. When an imperfect hero faces adversity and rises above, it has the potential to instill real inspiration in the reader. That sort of take away emotion will last far longer than the fleeting "This is enjoyable" sensation that most people get from their entertainment these days.

But, to answer your question, Isa is an alpha female and she's the oldest were in the western hemisphere and well past breeding age. It makes perfect sense to me that Rhys would seek out her guidance on important matters since she's got a lot of wisdom due to age alone. Really, you should be asking if the pack's financial situation is her fault, not Rhys's. Rhys inherited this mess when the pack alpha was killed and he's been doing the best he can with it ever since. Also, as this chapter would suggest, moving into Riverton was good for them and they are in a better position now than they've been in centuries.

Aweesome please continue

I love this series its one of my favorites on literotica! I think you are doing an amazing job writing these stories about Erica and her love/obsession of Harper. I want many many MANY more of these ;P I wish you the very best in your continued writing. / A satisfied fan from Stockholm Sweden.

why is he not smarter?

In the first chapter, I felt he was delegating a lot of power to Isla (?) and he was not displaying much wisdom to be an alpha male. In this chapter, the same character flaw is evident. Is the packs lack of financial security due to a lack of insight on his part? I just want him to be smarter... keep writing it is a very interesting story.

whats in a name?

Bane isn't a clue?
Title of Malik/ King is not a clue?
Ruler of the Vampires is not a clue?
Absolute Master of a horde of Undead, Bloodthirsty Predators of Humans is not a clue?

It would be a serious error to call the guy an asshole .... anywhere within his hearing ... or mind reading.

As a King, Bane is the Exalted Preeminence of Assholes with all the bells and whistles of Ageless Absolute Power.

Good start

An editor will help with grammar, spelling, punctuation, etc. It has a good start, but could use more details like; what do they look like?, why were they there?, how old are they? what are their jobs? what pack (or packs) are they in? if different packs, do they get along? if same pack, why haven't they met before? were does this story take place, and when? Just a few things I'm curious about already.

120 proof

I have to strongly disapprove of any negative connotations to using unprove as a substitute for disapprove without any evidence that such usage is out of context or discomprehensible to us readers.

can we please get translations for the stuff in greek?

To the Anon before me!

You do know it is a nonhuman story right. Hopefully you can read properly enough. Vampire is also the tag so i seriously dont get the complaining.
Great story my second time reading this and this time i will complete all the stories!

I wonder what happened to cause Tyrus' demeanor to change so quick. I got a feeling he will be watching her in secret. He has this connection with her that he won't be able to stay away.

Both Peaches and Bane has some learning to do about each other. Bane is just as capable of hurting Peaches just as she can hurt him.

Forgot your password?

Please wait

Change picture

Your current user avatar, all sizes:

Default size User Picture  Medium size User Picture  Small size User Picture  Tiny size User Picture

You have a new user avatar waiting for moderation.

Select new user avatar:

   Cancel