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That's not a double standard

Gals not approaching guys as much as guys approach gals is not a double standard. A double standard is a rule or principle that is unfairly applied in different ways to different people or groups.

Likely there is no sexual equality since their is still the slut/stud or shitty lock/master key double standard.

Interesting read...

Man, you write so well. And I love that it's your thoughts. What i'm curious about is has this 'penis envy' of other men's perceived 'endowments' been blown out of proportion? I have been with some guys that are small, but I would never call their penis 'cute'. Nor would I have to stifle a chuckle. Am I weird? Maybe so, but i'm also honest and I cannot imagine that a person's masculinity needs to automatically come in question unless there are leanings in that direction anyway. If there are, then that is fine; to each their own. But something sure went awry in making you think that a 5" should strip you of that masculinity. I think it's a shame really. I have to agree though that our society is 'stuck' on size. I'm a big girl, and I've battled that image and criticism for years because Hollywood or media cannot even fathom that plus size women can be admired let alone preferred. But what has helped me are the men out there and yes there are plenty of them, that DO desire me with all my so called societal failings. So I surround myself with those BBW admirers because they build me up; not tear me down. Perhaps you really need to get more in touch and find out if you really have more leanings towards being dominated and being more feminine in the process. It does kind of sadden me you feel this way and that life has played this trick on you, but only you can figure it out.

Mostly fantasy

Your mistake here is in assuming most of these stories are anything other than made up fantasies that appeal to a certain segment of the population.
Your next big mistake is assuming only what you prefer is correct and anything that veers from that point of view is wrong. Here is a hint, instead of reading such stories that you say bother you but you can't seem to avoid reading for whatever reason. Stop reading them and let those who enjoy them do so without your two cents about what is right and wrong.

Could have been a good essay if it weren't for the overlooking and bias

Your premise overlooks the vast amount of stories where the women do not enjoy the rape or non consent/reluctance. Thus the notion that there is no misogyny because the woman enjoys it is false.

Your premise also shows bias suggesting only those who don't like danger or lower self esteem women would flaunt themselves for attention would be uncomfortable with the idea of rape. It shows quite a lack of reason when your stance is basically: If you're uncomfortable with this you're either boring or you're a low self attention seeker afraid this will happen to you. Plenty of women who do not flaunt themselves are uncomfortable with the idea of rape because they view it as a disgusting and degrading violation. It has nothing to do with their self esteem or thinking it could be her but their view of the action itself.

Your conclusions is composed of overlooking. It overlooks that one can be offended by rape stories simply because of rape. Instead you suggest that if one is offended ny misogynistic non-consent stories it's either because they think it 'hurts women's fragile reputations' or they 'can't believe a woman can have the same basic responses as a man'. It also overlooks that it's not the same basic responses in 'a woman enjoying a rape' to 'a man enjoying consensual sex with an unattractive woman'.

vote for nobody

Vote for nobody.....because nobody cares.

There are many times and many reasons that I do not vote.
If I read it and say to myself "Meh" I don't bother voting, if the default rating is 3 a vote of 3 changes nothing.
If I don't finish it, no vote.
If the writer didn't finish it, no vote.
If I follow a similar story link to a story in a category I don't read (i.e. gay*), no vote close it and move on.

(* Not the only, just the shortest)

I think you missed one word as an adjective...

genuine.

What happens when you find the guy aspiring to all of that, who listens to what you want, and in an attempt to recreate your fantasy, constructs this only as a façade?

The self doubt of "what happened?" comes in time as familiarity begets a slipping in the imperative.

You need to be offered these suggestions of qualities in a partner, WITHOUT demanding them first, because if they were never there to begin with, you placing these demands on someone else will only temper your success with artificiality.

Just as you should never accept less, in a hope that "one day, they will come to acceptance and change", you need to be equally realistic in what YOU are offering in return for this dreamboat.

Can you lead by example? Perhaps.... but can you also be so caught up in the qualities of your fantasies towards perfection, that you lose sight of the qualities on display, right under your nose that he DOES realistically possess?

Are YOU so perfect as to demand perfection? Or can you at least be a proper judge of a person to know that NOBODY comes to the dance without battle wounds and scars, and that a desire to grow closer, and learn life's lessons together IS possible when BOTH of you are mutually motivated towards wisdom and maturity? That this IS possible without having to WAIT for the change.

If you wait for someone who has learned ALL of life's lessons before you commit, then realize they learned them WITHOUT you, and they will never "need" you, as much as you "need" them.

Lastly, are you the kind of person who can bring out the best in others? If so, did that ever happen AFTER first making a list of demands? Or was it more realistically achieved because that person was self-challenged to be the best they could be because you made them feel that it would be totally worth that effort first.

Carrot or the stick? Nah, just honesty, patience, open mindedness, and compassion.
And Warmth. Yes, it is far too hard to find real warmth in this world.

To what lengths would any man go, to find what is real.
Yes....... Please reconsider the need to be genuine.

thank you joe!

Your essay was extremely well thought out and profound! Thanks for clearing up many of the misconceptions and stereotypes and briefly explaining, "the lifestyle".

Well written piece

Actually it's outstanding, well written and well argued. I never thought I'd read something this knowledgeable on this site.

Sounds

Like you want a guy with a good balance between masculine and feminine energy:)

akka tho modda sambhandham

nenu sai naku oka akka undi danni dengalani naku korika adi naku avadam ledhani nenu oka roju ma akka snaniki veluthunappudu nenu munduga velli bath roomlo dakunna akka vachindi adi nighyt vesukundi intlo avaru leru nenu akka mathrame akka towei pakkana peti nighty teeyabothu nannu arichindi appudu nanu akka noru musanu akka pls pls ani brathimalanu akka sallu pisukuthunna vaddu nettuthundi nenu vadala ledhu kani vinadam ledhu nenu akka chetkulu katipadesa akka nilabadi undi nenu akka sallu pisukuthu unna nenu akka nighty lo duri akka panty laga akka puku kanipinchindi clean shaved nenu amantham akka puku notlo pettukuni naka akka vaddu antundi kani muluguthundi ahhhh ummm..ahhhhhhhhahhhhhhhhhhhahhhhhhhhhhh abbbbbaaaaaaaaaaa auhhhhhhhhhhh ani mulguthundi nenu nighty lopaliu nundi alagay pyki lecha akka kallu vedalpu chesindi nenu na modda nu amamtham lopaliki petta akka ammaaaaaaa ani ari chindi akka pora pagili raktham karuthundi nenu apakunda akka puku 30m dengi akka nighty vippesa alkka doggy stle lo onga gudduthunna akka apatike 3times karchesindi nenu10minutes dengi karchesa apati nundi roju denguladu kuntam apudapudu akka friend ni kuda denguthunta idi frnds na story next time inko mamnchi story tho vastha bye

I love this.

you can get so much out of this story. The theme (not so much the nudity) resonates with me a lot. I just want to thank you for this amazingly great written story and hope it helps others, too.

Interesting, But ....

A very interesting chapter and series. More recent and careful research, however, point to a much higher rate of cheating among wives: 50% to 70% of all wives cheat on their husbands, while 50% of husbands cheat on their wives. The reason why it is difficult to pin down the rate of cheating wives is because they are less willing to admit it than husbands, to even their closest friends, and because they are so much better at covering their tracks than their husbands. Further, while husbands generally have convenient excuses, wives tend to freely admit that they had no particular reason for their cheating (while still in love with their husbands). Reference: http://www.sfjohnson.com/acad/ethics/Ethics.htm#in fidelity

It comes with the territory . . .

I've written a couple of stories and received my share of positive and a few negative comments. The extreme ends of both the stories and comments in loving wives are the rabid BTB crowd, who are scary, and the humiliation slurping cuckold crowd (who are simply pathetic) aren't really appealing to most people. I realize that's an assumption on my part.

You will absolutely get extreme (read "unhealthy") responses to either type of story.
Just realize that, like you, most of us can quickly spot the lowest of the moronymati. You can then realize what pathetic little drones they are, feverishly clicking their "one star" scores, no doubt the only power they possess.

Then you can bask in a warm feeling of superiority, which should keep you feeling warm and fuzzy for the rest of the day!

Enjoyed the essay

I enjoyed this essay immensely even though I partly disagree with it. I can't quote any studies that show that open marriages end in divorce more than monogamous ones. I simply don't know. But I do agree that it isn't for everyone. I do have one point of contention with this essay.

I seems to imply that open marriages are more honest and communicate better than monogamous ones. It also seems to have a bias toward the belief that people involved in them to be happier than monogamous. I would respectfully disagree.

I will say that your essay has "opened" my eyes as to how it can be beneficial to SOME people. I just don't feel that people in open marriages have a deeper commitment than closed ones. I think it is a different kind of commitment. Not better or worse, but built on a different foundation.

One of my best qualities is that I don't judge. My favorite saying is that this universe is too big for my point of view to be the only right one. I admire the courage that it takes to stand by a point of view that isn't popular. I wish you the best and thank you for an enlightening essay.

A question...

Shouldn't Hubby-wanting-their-wives-to-fuck kept in fetish category?

Don't you think that LW category definition should be changes to accomodate the stories?

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