A Midwinter's Night

A Midwinter's Night

Once upon a night, late December
Out was my fire, an extinguished ember.
The air outside icy . . . dead,
I was warm and asleep in my bed;
Plagued by nightmares, drenched with sweat.
My pillow cold, damp, wet.
She is watching.

Reliving times of long ago,
How we lived with passions aglow.
When I was not myself.
Drifting streets known only to myself.
Never fearing tangible danger,
I begged food from every stranger.
She is always watching.

She fed me, clothed me, gave me life.
And so I knew she was to be my wife.
One year ago today,
My love turned to hate when hers went away.
"What goes around, comes around"
And in her revenge, I can be found.
She is always watching.

I waited on her street, standing near the gate.
Praying that no one should wake.
I crept onto the grounds
Making little if any sound.
I broke a window hoping none would hear
My beloved would not see next year.
She is watching.

I made my way into the nursery,
A baby boy adolescence never will see.
And then to the sister's room
A sweet child who met with silent doom.
Then the butler, next the maid
Both taken in a lover's rage.
She is watching.

Now I found her dear old Mom and Dad,
Releasing them was oh so sad.
Their screams were loud and then none,
Never had I had such fun!
But they are in a better place,
Home to spiders, covered in lace.
She is watching

Footsteps in the hall,
She stopped when I did call,
Trying to get away
That will be the day.
Who does she think she is,
Begging to see what real pain is.
She is always watching.

She had come home to Daddy,
Not aware that in danger was she.
With each blow of the hammer,
Her eyes grew dimmer.
The whole time asking me why.
Later I would cry.
I didn't know and now she is watching.

I finished and made my way home,
Going ways no moonlight shone.
Tired and ready for bed.
I found her letter and wished I was dead.
I cried and cried,
Almost tried suicide.
She is watching.

"Dear Edward," her letter said,
"Meet in two days, the old river bed,
Between one and noon,
We will be together forever soon.
My father will be out of the way,
We will start our lives this day.
I love you and I'll be watching for you."

She is always watching me!
And will not let me be.
I loved her and then killed her;
Madness has taken over.
Presently, I begin to wake,
And I look over and see my work of hate.
In the bed next to me, she is watching.

Asleep again, troubled slumber returns
Oh, my heart, how it aches, how it burns.
How could I ever harm my loving wife
Let alone take her sweet, sweet life.
I have to fix it, somehow make it right.
A thought occurs, I see the light.
I have to because she'll be watching.

Back to her father's secretly I stole
Hoping to save what's left of my soul.
The same as before I crept back in
Hoping love will end what hate began.
I know what I must do, I must bring her home
So that neither she, nor I, will ever be alone.
She is always watching.

She will always be watching.