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Click hereYou Frustrate me.
You intrique me more.
What started as one simple day
Has evolved
Changed
Been charged
Torn open with hands and teeth
Expressions that cannot bare
Cannot be spoken
Broken
Like a crack in the wall
Spreading, widening,
Optum under sheets
Options that are void of truth
Of power and will
Strength to restrain, refrain
Thoughts of screaming out
calling you
Telling you...
What, I am not sure
My greed, my lust, my heart
Taken over, pulled
Emotions of devotion and faith
Swallowed whole by your eyes
Those eyes, tame and wild
Child of a different place
How do I react
Retract
Take back all that I have given you
You complicate my heart
Hours that leave too fast
Days that take forever
Opening my arms, unfolding
Embracing the welcomed warmth
What started, will be compleated.
VD's call seems about right;
Run a spell check but then still run through again with your eyes,
For spell check won't tell whether bare or bear is appropriate;
Then split it into at least 2, preferably 3 strophes
To make the reading flow more smoothly.
and time, I don't think it is too long, maybe brake it into stanzas, a break or two, but the whole poem tells one thing, passion in a powerful write. <grin> I enjoyed it.
This poem gives you a rush of blood to the head when you read it. Couple of suggestions: 1) typos: I've noticed several typing errors 2) length: I think its just a tad too long, think about going through it with a comb cutting out anything which detracts from what you want to say.