A Sad Thing

The disquiet in the piece seems to stem from the fact you gain the readers attention with a sympathetic reaction they then want to lend you their eat but you have finished the poem and moved on.

What I was meaning with my first comment is that it seems like you should expand further to take advantage of the sympathy created, however by leaving the reader with nothing else it leaves a dissatisfied lingering question of,

What did you want to say?

Which in my opinion gives this piece its major strength

@Cleardaynow

Hypocrisy is a harsh judgment. I cannot know what situation you're thinking of, by saying that, but I can think of cases in which one might say "there is nothing to say / and no one to say it to", when there actually is something to say, without it being hypocrisy.

I think my point on sell out was simpler.

If one is saying (in a poem at least) that there is nothing worth saying and there is no one to say it to anyway - then spending ten verses saying that smacks of hypocrisy.

This is a very sad situation described very clearly, and if you let it it could depress you. I think I understand what you mean by a sellout. As if it were the refrain of a heart broken love song?

I agree with Tod that this almost feels like an introduction to either another poem, or a longer poem. After all, as poets, we're all at least a bit consigned to writing things for no one to read. We often keep going, regardless of a lack of purpose / meaning.

On the other hand, it's right there in the text. A sad thing, which simply IS, it needs no further explaining, and there is no one out there to hear it. Why even bother? The emotion is implicit.

The poem resonates heavily with me, and that's what makes it work (for me). I wonder, however, how others (who do not have something which is sad, and needs no further explaining, and no one to tell it to) will feel?