A Salute to Bad Porn

I'm sick to death
Of Bad Porn
It's either too raunchy
Or a can of corn

Watching these boneheads
Who can't get it up
Trying to screw women
Too plastic
To Fuck

I realise its all
A matter of taste
But watching this crap
I don't want to get laid

I don't want to see women
So loose it won't hurt
When someone's whole fist
Is rammed far up her skirt

I don't want to see men
As old as my Dad
Have dirtier sex
Than I've ever had

If he's on viagra
He shouldn't be working
Send that fossil home
And let HIM do the jerking

If the woman's a toothpick
Or her breasts reach her knees
Get her a job
In Horror Movies

For Heaven's sake
Keep them out of my porn!
Off of my screens
And away from our stores

These crappy-ass movies
Should stay on the shelf
If I want to hear faking
I'll do it myself!