- Erotic Poetry
- A Way of Thinking
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She will not hold her breath, which is as well,
For he'd not suffocate her with his need;
Her eyes wide-open, as she sucks the seed
From deep within him; she can almost tell
When she will sense him coming: let him tense
And find his heart-beat surging, see she's wrapped
Her tongue around the eagerness she's mapped
With her lips and her mind - a recompense;
Is this the reward sought by both of them?
The taste that washes round - an afterthought,
An afterworld, beyond that little death,
To which he will succumb, when she won't stem
The flow of his excitement, for he's taught
That it's as well, she will not hold her breath.
- COMMENTS
bogusagainalmost 13 years agoNice poem but isn't "little death" something of a cliche?
Aren't these two lines contradictory?
"She will not hold her breath, which is as well,
For he'd not suffocate her with his need;"
I have to say I missed it at first because the poem flowed and its easy to be seduced into ignoring it.
twelveoonealmost 13 years agoThis looks more like, running over the same ground for you, a blow job sonnet. Anything different? Some of it shall we say-cliched, or very nearly so.
Tired words arranged very nicely. One of the advantages of keeping the meter. BTW I posted a link in a thread called Machines, check it out.
I didn't vote, you won't need it.
buttersalmost 13 years agoit wasn't till i read this a second time that i even noticed the syllables count and structure. nice write!
these, i found both sensual, imaginative, and cleverly constructed:
let him tense
And find his heart-beat surging, see she's wrapped
Her tongue around the eagerness she's mapped
With her lips and her mind - a recompense;
The taste that washes round - an afterthought,
An afterworld, beyond that little death,
greenmountaineeralmost 13 years agoIt seems that every time I read one of your erotic poems I say to myself, "This is the best yet."
The sestet has a climax to it in more ways than one:
"An afterworld, beyond that little death,/To which he will succumb, when she won't stem/The flow of his excitement...." erupts if you'll excuse the pun.
Outstanding IMO
