- Non-Erotic Poetry
- A Whispered Thought
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A Whispered Thought
I sent a thought flying out through space last night,
It travelled 'cross the skies.
'Neath the cold waning moon, at mountain top height
It carried my whisper, my soft wanton sighs.
I watched as it wandered o'er forest and lake,
Frozen and sleeping land.
Across the bald prairie, on a tiny snow flake,
And then to your window, and into your hand.
My whisper unfurled and blew into your ear,
A shadow of your name.
My sighs breathed out hushed, as they hovered near,
And into your sleep, they wait without shame.
To show you the journey I take in my dreams,
The rapturous passion I feel.
The heat of my need, the release of my screams,
Sometimes so intense, this cannot be real.
When you awake I hope you will find,
A kiss soft on your cheek,
A blessing I share with your brilliant mind
May you always find what you seek.
- COMMENTS
LeBrozover 17 years agoAgree with Boo;
Concentrate on the rhythm (meter) and let the rhyme go to pieces. As it is, with a weak meter, the rhyme appears lost.
BooMerengueabout 20 years agoI read this one 3 times. I like what I heard, but it feels a bit choppy. I think it could use a rewrite- it doesn't have to rhyme, but if its going to, why not make it smooth?
