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Click hereyou want life
you want love
you want the dirt
you want in
but I have been living.
I lust for more.
and I play in the dirt.
so give me what I want
not what I need
give me orange creamcile
freshly cut grass
peaches.
join me in
a quest for action
leave me to
my old habits
help me find new ones
cause according to your cord
I taste like freedom
and you want more of it.
live, love, die.
and get dirty.
I like the short lines, they give your work punch. More is less, I learned this from a drum instructor, and it fits with writing.
I liked your wants, each so simple, but at the time exotic. I love creamsicles, the blend of the orange and the rich creamy vanilla ice cream. A fresh peach, so juicy. And the smell of grass after its cut. Heavenly.
The final four lines;
I taste like freedom - what does taste like? I want to taste you now, and yes, I do want more of it.
Live love and die, and get dirty. What else could there be?
Overall, a very interesting poem to read and review. Tres bon, mon ami!