Almost

lost in the memory
of the way you looked at me

before you saw that shaking
pile of fear covering her ears
screaming no
trying to push herself
further away, into the wall

before you saw that river
of saline streaming onto the floor
babbling like a brook
as unstoppable as a hurricane

before you had to watch
my mind control my body
unable to dial a phone
or bathe on my own
to put clothes on
leave the house

i miss the way you looked at me
when you thought i was still almost normal.