Ancient Eyes

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43 words
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oneiria
oneiria
119 Followers

Ancient Eyes

stare out at the wind-brushed sea,
like hollow windows on a cracked
sand castle

soon to be devoured by the unforgiving
lunar tide, then washed rudely
upon the sands

of a distant beach, only
to be resculpted
by little hands.

oneiria
oneiria
119 Followers
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2 Comments
greenmountaineergreenmountaineerabout 13 years ago

I think this was your best among the recent submissions. The sharp contrasts here between creation vs. destruction, randomness vs. intent, and youth vs. the absence of the "ancient eyes" came together nicely with an economy of lines; nothing superfluous here IMO. A high 5 for me.

twelveoonetwelveooneabout 13 years ago
*

this good. 5, but a bit predicable.