Angry rose

Angry rose

i stare into his soft, chocolate eyes and it hurls me back
to corn-rowed hair and a wandering eye;
to bright blue and gold feathers and a glowing car blaring a song about temperature.
to deep fried spinach and unlabeled cigarettes
and knees that bent backwards when you stood up straight.
to naked pictures and removable teeth;
and bitter arguments that lasted til dawn.
to Columbia jackets and that color called emerald
and i'll never forget about sushi.
to hotel rooms and intertwined bodies (light against dark -- how exotic i thought)
and a trip all the way to Virginia.
i blink my eyes and i'm catapulted back to now.
seeing him is forever a reminder of us.
and when he looks at me a certain way i see you loud and clear.
your manipulative smile pierces me and i feel your burning stare.
i look away and tremble,
i don't want this feeling inside me but it's growing nonetheless.
we ended painfully but i always thought we'd reconcile somewhere down the road.
perhaps that fatal heart attack was your way of doing that.
instead of dealing with me and your son you left us once again.
this time forever.
but i will bring him to see you some day
when my heart has healed and my fury has been pruned,
and you'll be lying underneath the angry, bleeding rose
that i will place there.

~princess~