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Click hereThought it was perfect before,
When a maniacal archer set the wheels in motion
thrills began with screams and chills
(This ride ain't for the faint hearted)
coastin' to the exit, arrow between my eyes
led away to the tilt-a-whirl, spun, circumnavigated,
and as I became cognizant once again,
noticed the blue fletched shaft
protruding between your breasts, spoke,
in surprise,
'Damn, Baby, does that hurt?'
you thwacked the one between my eyes, laughed,
made me wonder, 'what ride is this...
that sets the mind to buzzing so.'
The sign of the Archer : Saggitarius ? 5-ed ( BTW today it's a virtual feast for the discernin' reader with U , GM , Dem all bursting on the NP screen together : Merry Christmas !)
ignore the arrow, trust me, you know the way my mind works
zero in on these two lines:
led away to the tilt-a-whirl, spun, circumnavigated,
and as I became cognizant once again,
very generally speaking "circumnavigated", and "cognizant" would be words to avoid, however, here it adds to the sense of vertigo, now do you need "once"?
5ed
like a graph
two lines
in different colours
one the shape of a rollercoaster
the second
a smooth, steady ascension
the trend is up, always up
the peaks and troughs
just part of the ride
as for arrows - they don't hurt a bit
unless they get torn out