Note: You can change font size, font face, and turn on dark mode by clicking the "A" icon tab in the Story Info Box.
You can temporarily switch back to a Classic Literotica® experience during our ongoing public Beta testing. Please consider leaving feedback on issues you experience or suggest improvements.
Click hereTenderly fingers
draw a line on flesh.
In oval twists
they rotate and brush.
Along the skin
then back again.
Then removed
and licked to wet,
then back to canvas
of pink and plump.
Run down the body
over curves and bumps.
Long lean limbs
out from a hand,
the tool of touch
from woman or man.
Glides along the body
in trailing strands.
Dips in slits
and pinch a nip,
little fingers
task of grip,
feeling is such,
an Art of touch.
but I think with some minor changes to the punctuation you can make the poem flow more naturally. What you basically have is stanzas, with one four line sentence, followed by a two line sentence a structure you abandon on the last stanza. I think if you changed your punctuation on the first stanza to end the sentence after the third line and let the following three lines work as a sentence it would read better. The next two stanzas I think will flow better if they are simply read as one sentence. Try breaking it down that way and read it outloud and see how it sounds. With a little work this one will sparkle.
jim : )
...appeling, and it seems a far better and more controlled use of form and language than I recall from reading you other poetry. This shows distinct promise from a developing poetic voice! Very good offering!