- Non-Erotic Poetry
- Baby Kenny
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Clothed, roofed and sheltered, hemmed in by grey walls
she's checked thrice daily to make sure she's there –
as if there were another place to go.
But other places have all been destroyed,
burnt, sacked and all her next of kin is dead
and so sad safety's all she has acquired –
cold comfort. As she dully stares ahead
emotions seldom brighten up those eyes
that only shine when some stray song line strikes
notes well-remembered, and she'll shyly start
to hum along and softly soothe herself
with all that's left her, treasured in her heart.
- COMMENTS
greenmountaineerover 11 years agoMade me think of London bombing during WWII for some reason. I suppose it could just as well be the Gaza Strip.
The alliteration of "s" followed by consonants got me tongue tied.
Isn't "roofed and sheltered" redundant?
Desejoover 11 years agoAt first, I thought the second line was a typo. Kenny, in the US at least, is generally a boy's name. But the second line says "she's there". It is a bit bizarre to think that the woman is checking to make sure she herself is there, so the reader naturally assumes (also because of the title) that the woman is checking on someone else. Namely, Baby Kenny.
The last stanza brings it all together. I may have it wrong, but I love that it made me read, re-read and think.
I was tempted to suggest that the location and baby's name be more explicit to avoid confusion, for example by calling the baby Mary or John - names that really are not used by the opposite gender regardless of where you are in the world -but now I think the confusion is useful.
You use 's contractions a lot in your poetry - personally I don't like that, but it's a matter of taste I guess - and probably flow. I'm no expert in that department.
Another fine poem.
