tagNon-Erotic PoetryBack Up Outhouse!

Back Up Outhouse!

byUncle Pervey©

After my bathroom toilet,
Backed up for the eighteenth time,
I got the crazy notion that,
A back up outhouse would be fine!

I remembered from the past,
A "one holer" that we'd had.
Right out back by our garden,
And it hadn't been THAT bad!

I went to the local mill,
And bought some lumber and nails.
I thought I'd build an outhouse,
Like Martin King "I'd prevail!"

I built it four feet by six,
And made it seven feet tall.
Then I took a great notion,
I'd build a "two-holer" stall!

I guessed an Emergency,
Would justify this action.
When all of us got the "trots,"
I smiled in satisfaction!

Then on one Halloween night,
I was sittin' in the dark.
Then me and the house fell back,
Someone'd tipped us for a lark!

The house and me rolled over,
Til the door was on the ground.
I was cursin' and squallin',
Those varmints left with a bound!

When I crawled out the bottom,
It was a really tight fit.
But my troubles weren't over,
I slid head first in the shit!

I never found who did it,
But they'd sure get no more chance.
I busted up my outhouse,
They can all just shit their pants!!

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