Beyond Sutures

Was it all you could take
lidocaine free?
The stretch of the skin
before the needle
your piercing scream echoed
on welded vinyl
sliding glass and
porcelain.
Later it was so much
the skin numb
and still you could feel
as four centimeters
became eight, or ten?
When the phenigrin
finally took its bite,
yeah, twelve point five
was nothing, more milligrams-
now it’s twenty-five
as you begin to float.

Once again the tube
shoved in your nose
and they pump you
in orange and green,
on lexipro, klonopin
and finally methadone.
Take another breath,
feel the percussion,
the rhythm, the pain
as the Foley flows
in liters per hour.
Still they make you wait
until the sodium rises
and you lose your mind
all for the want of your
DDAVP,
Desmopressin by IV,
the slow drip brings you back,
sitting, finally sitting
painless for at least the moment
sitting for the first time
since, since – since then.