Bitter Sweet Love

8-20-03
Bitter Sweet Love

Never thought I tasted love so strong until now. J would walk into a room and I would light up. I always had a smile on my face when I thought of J. Hearing her sweet voice would calm me on any bad day. When night was getting closer my stomach would some times get butterflies from the excitement to see her soon. Whenever I was in J’s presence my whole body was peaceful and happy, nothing could disturb the aura. My heart was content on being the “one”. Deep down inside I thought it could work. In some ways we were like salt and pepper. But when we became lovers our differences brought us in the middle and we fit perfectly like a puzzle. I brought a side of J that no one saw, and J did the same for me. It was love at first sight. Within 2 wks, of us dating I knew I was in love. Love hit me so hard it left a mark on my cheek. I would have done anything for J in a heart beat. The more we talked about the future, the more it seemed to be real and coming true. J is always in my thoughts. Even when I am supposed to be studying I always daydream about J. Deep down inside my heart I know this could workout. I feel it. I know J feels it too. Why does he have to run like a coward and give up on love? Why can’t she bring up her insecurities, doubts, issues about herself and us? Everything was so good, or so I thought.
Poof all gone because she met a guy, she liked and never said anything about it to fix the problem so we could work. I wonder if I haunt her. I wonder if she feels very strong about me and is trying to deny it to herself. I think about giving her a third chance because I really do feel the love inside. But the heart can not take a beating. The heart will move on, this is a lesson learned with a heart break.