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Click hereBOOM
I slink back in my room
but I know it’s too soon
and catch the whiff of the fume
Of my earlier doom.
She’s left a note on the doona
“That’s life” is her tune
and my head just goes BOOM.
And I cry, and I cry, and I cry,
But for whom?
Epilogue
So sweet but with a dark side
She did so well to hide it
It was just like licking ice cream
With razor blades inside it.
The Epilogue was better than the poem. The last two lines a startling image, not orginal, but good. The rest, well, avoid rhyme, dosen't serve a purpose here.
i mentioned this submission in the New Poem Review thread in the Poetry Forum. - wildsweetone (the 50% rating is so that it does not affect future temp ratings).