Breathe

It's too much,
To take in and expel.
For my existence,
The weight is to great,
The effort is too much.
I want to see black,
Take over and disappear.
I'm tired of trying,
Tired of fighting for myself.
Go ahead and feel sorry,
Maybe even try to save.
I can't care any more,
I still want to stop.
Tired of all this inside,
Sick of all this outside.
Why do you try?
When it turns out all the same.
It's all from hope,
That might never be.
It seems to take over,
Infiltrating everywhere,
Like weed roots.
To gasp is disappointment,
Failure again.
Not surprising.
Do you think to try and stop?
See if it works?
Push the limit of substance.
Test the strength of your need,
See if it outweighs your want.
Will it work?
Or will it be the involuntary,
Overtaking again to keep going,
Even though not wanting to.