- Erotic Poetry
- Candles
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Click hereIn the darkness you sit and cry
for dawn’s arrow to pierce the sky,
but never strike the flint on steel
to flame the tinder and reveal
a man hidden in midnight blue,
and see the open hand for you.
There's a true spell in all my verse
for a blessing to end the curse.
Near you in the dark I may sit,
yet I know how your candle's lit.
A candle so bright must burn fast,
the night is long, but will it last?
The answer sought always depends
on candles burning from both ends.
- COMMENTS
vrosej10about 13 years agoNot mad about this one. You are most impressive when you write with a kind of masculine power. This one seems a bit too SNAG from you. Gave you an 80%
Liarabout 13 years agoAt a sonnet? Or something. I wouldn't regognize a set form if my life depended on it. Great tone and mood in the opening lines old school bard style.
Somewhere after half of the poem I feel it loses a little focus, like you know the end, and just want to get there.
Last couplet ties it up juuust right though. Well worth a read or three.
UnderYourSpellover 13 years agoThe same line 'Near you in the dark I may sit' immediately caught my eye too as a forced rhyme, but otherwise lovely words throughout
