What does one do after God has touched the flesh;
known the body and soul, and then transcended back to His heavenly home?
what yearning does He leave in His wake, what painful joy and longing remains;
and how is His gracious host to repay the kindness when she longs only to beg His return?
Apollo, how casually cruel of You to bring me light and then revoke it!
Filled with the radiance of knowing You, feeling You set me ablaze
Brilliant virility completes me and I know satiation through the sensations You teach me!
You lie as I am still awakening to all that You have shown me.
my lips blush at the mention of your kiss, my pale thighs tremble at the thought of Your hands.
as fairy queen once was so entranced, intoxicated with adoration,
all my desire is to ravish You.
And now... now when there is nothing near - how much I need for the first.
Desires I never thought myself worthy of plague the mind, and bite at my flesh
You have given me wonder and weakness, You have created in me dependency,
and You are the drug, and dealer; I cower and connive for one more taste.
The moments between our meetings scorch my soul; like desert winds parch the throat and batter the flesh
- I am dry and brittle in the vast, searching for the elusive Oasis that is You.
I could scream to the wind but it will not bring the water, and I could yell for You
You would not Come.
I fear I am not enough, I am rattled by my incapacity to please.
Anxiety and paranoia are dogs licking at my ears, coating me in self doubt
I remind myself how unseemly and ineligible i must surely be.
I try to bare the distance bravely, but I am compromised by my veneration.
Would that I could possess as I am so taken by my predilection for the taste of you
Could I addict and keep in tow without restraints, I would seek you for mine.
A desire fueled by this covetous infatuation, that locks You in as Lord and I as merely mistress.
You revel in freedom being a curse and slavery it's salvation.
The method for my enervation is Your resolve to see me free.
Madness will in time take hold, I will crumble to my knees.
Longing will tear apart at heart in mind and flesh, if fortune smiles I will land by Your feet
I will bleed for you, give my last tears for you
Sacrificial offerings to He alone who can Save me,
Raising my hands to You beseeching, imploring You to dominate
My Lord, I will pray for Your benevolence,
Consume me in the fires of ecstasy and feed off my passion for you and you alone.
Let me perish in Your reverence, with no exacting pain to follow
Let me expire only loving You.