- Erotic Poetry
- Circus
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Amidst the silent adrenalin din,
I feel them, circular, staring in,
At us, our feet churning the dust,
Together and alone in the ring,
Both locked in a feral dance, a game
Of invisible tiger taming.
In the arena, as tamer, exorcist,
You stand naked, your belt as the whip,
I'm out of harm's way, lashed to the bed;
The battle's between you and the beast in my head.
- COMMENTS
UnderYourSpellalmost 13 years agoyou don't need the comma after 'staring in' and it would flow better without each line starting with a capital letter
I feel them, circular, staring in
at us, our feet churning the dust,
together alone in the ring,
twelveoonealmost 13 years agoNot bad opener
Amidst the silent adrenalin din,
I feel them, circular, staring in,
A5, don't take it serious. keep in this vein, you'll do better.
