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Click hereDeep in the woods
Children barefoot run
through the leaves and sticks
of a totally unencumbered life.
Sun pours through the trees.
Shaft of intense heat and light
Draws the eyes upward
Toward enlightenment.
Magical, mystical tunes
Swirl through the forest,
Pounding, beating,
Swinging, swaying,
Electric rhythms
In odd juxtaposition
To the ethereal quiet
Of this fragrant place.
Birds in the trees
Listen to the rhythms.
Free to come and go,
Listen like they have
A hundred times or more;
Chatter back to the music
Chatter as if they know
The deeper meaning
In the timbre of the voice,
In the recitation of the words,
"Fare you well, my honey,"
He croons soulfully.
Not like last night
In LA or San Jose,
Omaha or Paduca.
More like he means it.
Going home.
Fare you well.
Where are we to go
Tonight, tomorrow,
Next year, next century?
Where ever? Wherefore?
Another opening, another show.
Always another show.
and I mean it. Regardless what you think of me, I do care about the poetry here. This is not "perfect" but far as I am concerned, comes close. A lovely tale complemented by vivid images and an enchanting story.
this has such a peaceful and mystical feel to it. your description of nature drew me in immediately.
Very engrossing. I kept getting drawn to the third strophe with its adjectives and gerunds and thought that a good challenge would be to describe ethereal quiet without using those two words. My thought is that that in itself could be quite an interesting poem.
I think you're at your best here in the last two stanzas, where you become truly simple in both structure and idea; it sounds very much like a distinct voice. From the fairy-tale feel of the beginning to the down-home sense one gets at the end is an interesting journey. Nicely done.
Certainly some good moments in this one. Your poem is mentioned on the new poems review thread.