tagErotic PoetryDown To Me

Down To Me

bySandman8314©

     DOWN TO ME

He came down to me
From somewhere far above,
Somewhere I could not see.

He came down to me
In light and majesty,
And he took me up in his hands,
And his hands touched my body,
And I began to tremble,
For the touch of his hands
Led green flame across my skin,
And he kissed my breasts,
And he kissed the feathery spot between my thighs,
And I began to burn.

And he laid me down,
And I turned up my face and my heart,
And I turned up my thighs to the Goddess in worship.
And I gave my femaleness up to the Man,
I gave myself to him.

I gave myself --
And I gave myself trembling,
Yet I gave myself without fear.

And he entered me.

As a burning spear
He entered my body,
And he entered my heart and my spirit.
With majesty and power
He poured a river of light and fire into me --
Into my body,
Into my very being;
And my soul began to burn.

He folded me in flame and thunder,
And my eyes were dimmed,
And my breath was stilled,
And the flame of my loins set the world afire,
Until he burst inside me like a screaming rocket.
And I died in screaming ecstasy.

And when the screaming stopped
I was without breath and without sight
Until the cool touch of his hands on me
Gave me back my life again.

And I was filled with light.

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by Anonymous

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by LesseloovesPeter09/23/13

Creation of Jesus?

You've got good stuff here but Tod is right, less ands would be less clunky and better flow.

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by todski2809/23/13

And

I think personally it would read better without all the ands all in all I like what you are doing just not quite the way you did it,

Femaleness kinda clunks. may I suggest femininity?

Could cut a lotmore...

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