- Erotic Poetry
- Drawing Down the Moon
Note: You can change font size, font face, and turn on dark mode by clicking the "A" icon tab in the Story Info Box.
You can temporarily switch back to a Classic Literotica® experience during our ongoing public Beta testing. Please consider leaving feedback on issues you experience or suggest improvements.
Click here
The Moonlight
calls to me
as if you are with me
It pulls at my heart like
hundreds of tiny fingers.
Wolf song, in the distance
speaks to me.
drawing me towards
that which I know is
my hearts desire.
An owl in flight
as if it can sense the
wolf beneath her.
two hearts beat as one,
this night,
many nights to come.
love rises with Luna
this night,
open and full
willing to share all.
two people stepping from the
shine of Luna's graces,
walk hand and hand.
love is etched in their faces.
their bodies glisten
with a touch of mist,
a slow passionate kiss
between two lovers
two friends,
long before the dawns morning mist.
Making love
under the stars,
as the Goddess and God look on…
Their Blessing on the lovers
This night of the drawing.
A passion shared
passed from one to the other
as the moon
kisses their bodies
as the two become One.
- COMMENTS
Dragon_SilverMoonalmost 16 years agoto allow the others that do not know of your Shaman path, a chance to look within your dreams is a daunting thing to do. You have courage. More courgae than I think you sometimes give yourself credit girl. I wish you could take that courage and then turn it around and face down not only your current situation but your past as well.
LeBrozalmost 16 years agoFirst, let me echo Anschul's sentiment that it is good to see you still hanging in there and submitting.<br>
<br>
I think the mix in styles is good here; something akin to offering two different perspectives. I also see where some editing could tighten things up a bit. Just as an example, the pronoun me appears four times in the first two strophes; this could be cut in half, for example:<br>
<br>
The Moonlight<br>
calls<br>
as if you are with me<br>
It pulls at my heart like<br>
hundreds of tiny fingers.<br>
<br>
Wolf song, in the distance<br>
speaks<br>
drawing me towards<br>
that which I know is<br>
my heart's desire.<br>
<br>
That's just a sample of what a quick edit can do.<br>
<br>
As another, in the fifth strophe, "love is etched in their faces," could be changed to, "love etched in their faces."<br>
<br>
Don't be discouraged by comments that suggest changes. Keep things in perspective — everyone has a different approach/style in their writing and what appeals or works for them. Do what seems best for you and just keep on honing your skills and displaying your talents.
Anschulalmost 16 years ago...but, I think, two very fine works, run together. I think my friend got it right. This shows great promise. Keep it up. Nice to see you still here!
KOLKOREalmost 16 years agoThe first four stanzas spoke to me straight from the tradition of the metaphysical poetry, with rich and literally wild imagery... (just the way I like). Don’t get me wrong, I am all for consummated love, but for me, from the 5th stanza on you stepped into romantic love (even as the moon kept shining on the lovers),
which felt to me like it belonged in a different poem.
