- Erotic Poetry
- Drummer
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Click hereCan you picture it?
The tallent of a drummer.
Each part of the body working.
Speed, strength,
perfectly balanced.
Creating the sound,
like a gigantic heart beating,
the skins it's flesh,
the air it's blood.
Think of it
arms, legs, feet, hands
work perfectly together.
Think what he could do
with a woman
instead of a drum?
I often wonder
the violence of drumming.
Is he violent too?
Would he be rough?
Or gentle.
His hands are rough
sandpapers bite.
He smells sweet
ripe plums.
Does he know?
He's a treat.
Does he know?
teeth long to bite.
Sweat drips,
eyes squeezed shut.
Arms burning.
Legs shaking.
Head hanging.
The endurance
see it through.
The final crash
the end.
Until next week...
My friend.
- COMMENTS
HomerPindarabout 20 years agoThis one had me thinking of the fire circles, drum circles and dancing with my tamborine come august..
HomerPindar
KittenEyesabout 20 years agoAuthorMy spell checker is totaly wacked out right now. Not sure whats wrong it's not catching 1/2 of the errors..I'm kinda bummin :(
jthserraabout 20 years agoI think you got away from it a bit as the poem went on. You might want to edit to fix the spelling on talent on the second line. Otherwise, pretty good.
jim :)
Anonymousabout 20 years agoIf you can find it, you might want to listen to Duke Ellington's "A Drum Is A Woman". It will really give you something to aim at.
"There was a man who lived in Barbados,
He met a pretty woman one day.
He took her home and when they got there . . .
she turned into. . . a drum!
"It isn't civilized to beat women,
no matter what they do or they say,
but will somebody please tell me . . .
What can you do with . . . a drum?"
Angelineabout 20 years agoespecially if this is your first poem since 9th grade! There are some bits that need fixing though--like
the skins it's flesh,
the air it's blood.
The grammar is off here, and you have some repetition of ideas across the poem. A good proofread can help--or use a Lit editor. Bottom line though this is a cool subject and shows a wonderful ability to use metaphor and be descriptive--I hope you'll post more poems that draw on your talent. :)
