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Click hereThis was in an old notebook, I tweaked it a little.
~~~~~
I see you curling
in the smoky aftertaste of your decisions,
flecks of flaws bleeding through
so well,
drowning in the absence of ideas and emotions
that have forever left your care
pull yourself to geth er
the spirits that used to hold you up vanished in the stomping and crashing
half-in and half-out of that doorway,
you could have stopped this
I hear your movements slightly as you edge
closer to the window,
mistaking every breeze for his footsteps
and when you cursed your gods you should have known
they wouldn't return
in silence
you bite your nails and wait so pathetically
I used to think you were stronger than this
I used to think nothing could shake you
instead
you fell and you fell small and human
and there was blood but only blood
you are only human,
and I hate you for that
more than you know
why haven't you learned, little girl,
all the tears in the world won't make him listen?
why haven't you learned there's more to absence than an empty chair?
why won't you lift yourself up?
This poem was mentioned in the Archival Review thread, in a picking through Lit's archive of over 38,000 poems.
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I agree with TRM. This is solid poetry at its best. And damn, you made me cry. I applaud you for that alone.
Well done
is outstanding.
i think you need to punctuate your poetry properly (i know you know how - no poet who writes as well as you do lacks the technical knowledge of grammar . . . at least, i've never seen one). it would read so much better, IMO. your style is not the kind that jives well with scattered commas. the phrasing is good, often so so good -- the reader should have guidance from you with regard to pauses and the like. . . one man's opinion, of course.