- Erotic Poetry
- Embers: Wet Lips
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Click hereEmbers erupt and amber stars fall
Our hearts bleed soot and ash.
I’ve packed my bags, ominous, amassed by the door.
Winter squalls torment the tattered remains of love.
Blurred vision disconcerting, better days
Look down upon us from dividing walls.
At last dinner is served cold with a warm backhand,
Forehand crystal gripped, you wet your lips with red.
Senses flirt with a swirl and scent of cedar,
You linger and taste. A mistake for me to stay, but you insist
We share our last bottle, every glass to the final drop.
Mesmerized by your unacquainted beauty. Red vision;
The enchanting Syrah has gone to my head.
Mnemonic curves arouse contemplation,
As my gaze drops in slow motion
Tracing your naked body through your dress.
Compassion falters, but desire is faultless
Our reckless orbits merge in the galley.
Raw passion, pitiful lust; anger quenched when lips collide
Fumbling hands tear away your chastity.
Winter squalls overcome by resistance to exist.
“Cold hands, warm… hearts shall not part,”
You whisper sweet something and nothing coherent
As you take hold of me to devour and beg for me to stay.
Pride’s yours to swallow; I’ve much to say with my hips.
Our hands exploring forgotten lands, undressing,
Confessing our needs, exposing the roots of our hunger.
Flesh bitten, skin slapped, thighs prized open, cunt fingered,
Your wet lips fresh like winter dew, I enter my plea
Driving deep inside until I feel the warmth of your heart.
These are the fires I miss.
Love erupts and the embers of our hearts
Fall like amber stars.
- COMMENTS
case28almost 11 years agoAuthorThanks for the feedback erectus123. I've played around with the last lines and ditched "ashes" for "embers." I think it works much better. I actually wrote the last lines first and perhaps got a little attached to them, not reading them properly.
Also, "drips" is the wrong word, its a typo, should be "drops."
Cheers
case28
erectus123almost 11 years agonice lines i.e."Pride's yours to swallow; I've much to say with my hips." but also some not so fine,
(my opinion only, proceed as you desire)
i.e. "As my gaze drips in slow motion" drips is the wrong word
unless the eye is bloody or torn, poetic verse should follow logic usually--
also
"Embers erupt and the ashes of our hearts
Fall like amber stars". I've only seen black ashes, not amber. the eruption would usually first create flashes of fire or light (now there you might see amber), then ashes that fall; so again a description that defies. I don't mean to be a stickler but if it jars one's mind when read it fails in communicating the beauty found in other parts of your poem.
