Note: You can change font size, font face, and turn on dark mode by clicking the "A" icon tab in the Story Info Box.
You can temporarily switch back to a Classic Literotica® experience during our ongoing public Beta testing. Please consider leaving feedback on issues you experience or suggest improvements.
Click hereIf, instead of a hatch,
there was plug and I pulled it
what would I save from the gush?
A tiny jumpsuit, ABC
dribbling down the front like
spilt milk;
old "Paris Match", older photos;
letters from lovers long gone;
a letter never sent;
a tidal wave of books, some
effervescent with old obsessions;
the M.S. of a novel;
badly-painted toys;
oodles of bears (did they breed?);
juvenilia—to burn if it weren't so wet already;
"Rocky" the rocking-horse, lame now;
cards sent to my children to say
sorry I'm not there—I'm away,
busy, working, sorry;
cobwebs; dead bees; dust,
damp and cloying
sticking to my breast as I try to hold onto
everything.
I love this poem. It got me in the gut. I do agree about the double spacing though. I distracted from the poem and that is not something you want formatting to do. I am going to recommend this poem.
The double-spacing is irritating and distracting and Poet Guy hopes it is merely artifact of whatever word processing program that you are using. Poet Guy might suggest "mss" for "M. S." assuming you mean manuscript, though he acknowledges that that is American usage and you are, as he recalls, English. The line "juvenilia—to burn if it weren't so wet already" is superb, and even the ending line, the single word "everything" seems to work. (Though, in general, Poet Guy dislikes one word lines as not being particularly expressive.)
This is a good poem, fridayam, and Poet Guy really enjoyed reading it. Lose the affection of double-spacing, though, would be his only advice.
I found your words to be very sentimental and sweet. So many memories; maybe the extra spaces were an attempt to make more storage room. :)
I am not a fan of double spaced lines
I am a big fan of these types of asides
oodles of bears (did they breed?);
very well written, doesn't seem to be any mistakes, most of lines are good ones, so if I had to highlight, it would be most of the poem