Endless

Endless

Endless sense of pain
Useless in the scheme of life.
Pointless to sit here and complain,
I am the only one who feels the shame
Of doing nothing.
Not moving forward.
Unsure.

Stream of consciousness stirs the silt mud
Lurking in the deep of mind’s emotions.
Streaming streams of letters making words, making pictures, making no sense.
Intense comfort of insular worlds in words
And a false community with strangers.
And this need to tell,
To spell it out for others to read and learn my heart,
Hurts me as it heals and new wounds are less precious;
Are not hoarded jealously against time’s calming balm.

Weeping soothes no ache,
But it stops the swelling dull thud welling in my chest
As I gaze at nothing and see it echoed in me.
Scudding clouds across the moon run from the wind
And the peaceful shush performs a miracle quiet against the turbulence I sense.
Except the trees are restless,
Straining against the constraints.
And I yearn and lean towards them as I see their anxious swings into the dark sky.
A golden penny hovers and the stars glow golden too
And I am eaten up by the beauty that hurts.
Truth will set you free, so I speak truth and feel the freedom I want
Flowing through my words and leaving with them.
Only my truths go free and I stay trapped in myself;
Useless against this unknown enemy I cannot fight,
Whose might is endless.