- Non-Erotic Poetry
- Entrapment
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Author's Note
One of my much earlier pieces written so it most likely wont appeal to everyone's tastes. Thus constructive critism would be most welcomed.
_______________________________________________
I lost myself to someone
But that was long ago
And now my heart's in memory
And swaying to and fro
I thought that she was special
And saw her as one of a kind
But now I have this problem
I can't keep her from my mind
So much I try to forget
And lost myself in reading
But I feel like I have lost
And like giving myself a beating
It's not easy living life
When it feels you going through hell
For it feels like you are trapped
Or rather locked within a cell
- COMMENTS
MrFaithfulover 11 years agoAuthorThank you all for the feedback. As mentioned it was one of my earlier works based on a situation that I got myself stuck in. Thankfully no more but things tend to ebb and wade in ways beyond comprehension.
Desejoover 11 years agoOne of the things I have learned from others here is to read things aloud. The first two stanzas of this have a sing song rhythm, but the third is off. Reworking the third stanza would help make this stronger. You could also probably cut out most of the "I" s for a sparser feel - try it and see. Just my opinion!
tazz317over 11 years agolets hope the guilty paid also. TK U MLJ LV NV
