- Erotic Poetry
- Equinox
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Click hereA foolish dream, or a moment of truth?
Who the hell am I, and who the fuck are you?
A walk in the dark just before dawn,
An eerie cry or passions song?
With the stir of emotions a puddle is made,
Deep in the core, a liquefied grave.
A complex memory, an unsignified sign.
Getting to deep, in too soon of time?
A reason, a season, a lifetime of blame,
All just a part of the playful little game?
One who can see without effort at all,
The sun always rises before the moon falls.
A harmonic balance of pleasure and pain,
A blissful state of two minds gone insane.
Touched in places not known to exist,
Leaves one to wonder, what is all of this?
To risk all that is safe but not satisfied,
Such a weighty decision, undignified.
Teeter in the aftermath of what’s left behind,
Fate is mere assumption, but faith is often blind.
Life’s little journey now turning the page?
Can a bird trapped so long fly out of its cage?
- COMMENTS
faq_u2almost 13 years agoAuthorThank you Slaveboy, and Twelveoone, for your comments.
For those that are put off by use of profanity so be it. It is self expression, (or at least that poem was). I tend to live by "Say what you feel... those that mind won't matter, and those that matter, won't mind."
Twelve... You are a unique individual, and I feel you know much about poetry and the structure of how it should be written. As for me, well, I learned what I learned in high school and never took the time to learn more about the structures of writing. I have written many poems, but mostly only for the fun of putting my thoughts down on the blank page before me. A friend of mine urged me to share some of my writing here at lit.com. For a long time I was skeptical to do so simply because I know I am a very unskilled writer, and that will, and has indeed shown though.
In story form I can see where it is more important to use proper sentence structure, punctuation, and grammar. (I submitted a story and it was rejected here on lit.com because of those reasons)
So, then I ask myself. Do I hone my skills and take the time to learn the proper techniques of writing both in poetry and story writing? Or, do I simply stick to my sloppy ways and continue to write merely for my own amusement?
Perhaps the real question is... how much does it really matter to me to share that which I write?
Twelve your pointers and criticism are indeed welcomed. It is obvious that if one IS going to share there work, then it should be done to some degree of wellness.
slaveboy4Princessalmost 13 years agoI like the boldness of this line.
"Who the hell am I, and who the fuck are you?"
It's like the pissed off version of existentialism. I can't believe how offended some people get when reading a little profanity. I find it small-minded and strange, especially for a BDSM community. That reactions seems rather "vanilla" to me - the reaction of people without strong emotions, or who've drunk too deeply of the false niceties and politeness that we're supposed to live by.
twelveoonealmost 13 years agojust quoting, I saw your comment, rules blah, blah, and the real funny thing is you show more poetic organization that the other.That amuses me, now do you want a real comment for a minor improvement, or will I get a and who the fuck are you?
your choice, BTW in most cases I am real freakin easy when it come to voting, but I did not vote here.
