- Non-Erotic Poetry
- famine
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I am warrior.
I have crawled over
twisted bones and wilted hopes
without tire;
crossed oceans of ashes
within wastelands of fire,
All to dine here,
with the broken
and barren,
dreams danced awry,
aspirations thrown errant;
Here at this table
of refuse and dust,
abhorring our passions
and banishing lust,
Here, where i've supped
[on the cure]
of wild desperation,
and vast loneliness;
it is here where we starve,
and efface mad godlessness.
- COMMENTS
LeBrozover 16 years agoBest of the three you had posted 12/01/07. First, a small suggestion. IMO the first line might be better if it stood alone, or better yet, were to be omitted. I can see where you might want the contrast of strength that line implies in opposition to the desolation that comes through in the rest of the poem, but, it seems that contrast is implied {without tire} just as well without that first line. Just a thought.<br>
<br>
My favorite lines are:<br>
"crossed oceans of ashes<br>
within wastelands of fire,"<br>
for the way you turn convention on its head by using ashes instead of fire and fire instead of ashes. One would normally expect to see it phrased like this:<br>
<i>crossed oceans of fire<br>
within wastelands of ashes,</i><br>
<br>
All in all, a most pleasurable read despite its rather gloomy nature.<br>
<br>
