tagNon-Erotic PoetryFinal Goodbye

Final Goodbye

bytheoncomingstorm©

My memories of you are few
Most of them make me cry
But it still breaks my heart
To know that this is our final goodbye

I heard the news
Crumpled to my knees
I'd spent so long searching for answers
But now none will ever find me

I sobbed until I ran out of tears
I begged for a chance to know a better side of you
I hung my head in shame
Of the feelings of loss after all you put me through

I put on the only song you ever sang to me
I turned it up loud and kept pressing repeat
Looking for a way to imbed the good in my mind
Tried my best the evil to delete

You were never there for me daddy
You disappeared when I needed you the most
When my world came crumbling down
You were but a ghost

I've heard stories of fathers who were strong
Who picked up their kids when they fell down
Who threatened the first guy to take them out on a date
Who were there to catch them when they were about to drown

You never taught me to ride my bike
You did teach me how to fight
The only time I remember you praising me was when I threw my first punch
My hook causing tears, stinging him with its bite

You weren't there to teach me about the world
To help me see that it wasn't all bad
You were one of the reasons I thought everyone was evil
You were a poor excuse for a dad

But I still loved you
Like all little girls do
I clung to hope that you'd change
That someday I'd get to know the best version of you

You weren't there to cheer me on at my games
To see that I made it home safely after a date
To teach me to drive a car
To help set me straight

I was alone on my wedding day
You didn't give me away
You weren't there to lift my veil
You didn't dance with me on my special day

When I had my first child
I begged God to let me be a better parent than you ever were
You missed out on seeing your granddaughter
But I guess that is what is preferred

If I paint a picture with words more sober
It isn't because I hate you
It isn't because I don't love you
Because despite it all I still do

It is just the cold sad truth
That you weren't there for me
You made your choices and I wasn't one of them
I lived with an absent daddy

Now you are in your last resting place
And it isn't fair
There had to be a good man hidden in you
He had to be there somewhere

I just never got to see him, to find the good in you
And as I say my last goodbye
My eyes fill with tears
Why did you have to die?

I hate you for leaving me
I hate you for what you did to me
I hate you for never saying goodbye
I hate you for what you forced me to see

And I love you
I have no idea why
But I do... so daddy this is it
Goodbye... our first and last final goodbye

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bytheoncomingstorm© 4 comments/ 972 views/ 0 favorites

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