Finis

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60 words
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rachlou
rachlou
558 Followers

I’m hanging by the fragile thread
that links us.
Irrevocably connected.
I feel
disconnected,
adrift on a sea of dread.
Foreseeing the end,
still trying to pretend
it’s not over.
But I know
it’s dead.
Killed through neglect and apathy;
drowned by misery.
The final spasms are painful,
pitiful
and hurtful.
But it won’t be forever.
Just like us.

rachlou
rachlou
558 Followers
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  • COMMENTS
4 Comments
twelveoonetwelveooneabout 16 years ago
*

sorry to disagree with those running for something, rachlou. This has it's problems. The end rhymes for one. And it is rather cliched, but it had enough interest from beginning to end by it's slight twisting of lineararity. A canidate for further work, if you think that is harsh, remember most good things are canidates for further work.

AngelineAngelineabout 16 years ago
Interesting piece of writing

Mainly a general comment on a relationship, but the few sexual allusions both suggest why things ended and add a layer of complexity to what at first seems fairly straightforward writing. That subltle quality is really poetic. Another good write from you. I enjoy reading your poetry. :)

impressiveimpressiveabout 16 years ago
Yup

I really doesn't hurt forever, and the other side is stronger. Some days, though, I want those rose-colored glasses back.

NirvanadragonesNirvanadragonesabout 16 years ago
*sigh*

Neglect is a slow killer.

I feel (For) you.

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