Fuck existence

I will wear that make up on my face. But I won’t let them kiss my face. I will let them see my scars, but I will never let them touch me. You thought I existed. You thought you knew too well. That I cannot resist your powerful spell. This spell of existence, this thing that will eventually kill me. It will only take a second, but for now, I continue the journey. I’ll lie I tell you I will I will. Look over there at him laughing at me. Can’t you see his eyes blood rich in glee. I will kill him I will, just wait and see. You think my life is all too cynical, just need a miracle. Look around you, life is only made for simpletons. The ones that jeer, the ones that laugh. Hang on now, the ones that wow at my sexy glance… What speaks must move, a shadow within the glassy night. A nutshell looking an awful fright. Beyond the brows of men to come, She will weep while we will run and run. We jeer, we laugh, we cry, ignore. They speak, they taunt, they jaw and jaw. And then before me upon a time, you come rushing to the other. I stand, I sit I float away. The river I sit you sway and sway. We turn you turn, me me me. My lip is cut and through the dust, you beat you hit you pull you push. I lie dense upon your mood and whisper in sleep, not night nor day. That you may sway and sway and sway but never, not once, shall break away.
They told me that talking helps. So I talked to the flowers, the sky, the bees, the pigeons, the children too young to understand. I talked of life, of thing the children should not hear, of sex, of men, of drink and drugs.
It only took a split second to cut her wrist lengthways.
Down the middle    Straight down      Deep
To her death.
They said, ‘we didn’t know she should have said.’